Good Girlz in the Hood : The Chronicles of Ciara

Chapter 74 - Goodbye, Sister

Goodbye my friend, I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you here. It's not the end, you gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear.

Almost 3 weeks had passed since Karina and SJ, Paige's son, had died. Paige had been hiding away, she wouldn't come out of her room, her mum said she wasn't eating or sleeping. Karina's family were in a terrible state as well, Meisha and Karina's sisters were also hiding away, and her brother seemed to be going off the rails. Everything was falling apart....

I was barely sleeping myself, I had been released from hospital the day after everything happened, and I had been prescribed some sedatives but I didn't feel that they were helping. I felt so tense and agitated, and my depression had gotten worse. Kyle had been with me everyday since, trying to make sure I was okay but most of the time I just wanted to be alone. 

It was the day of SJ's funeral, and Kyle was driving me to Rianna's house to pick her up. Karina's funeral was in three days, and I was feeling highly anxious. Her mum wanted us to help pick out songs  for the church service but I didn't know if I could face it. 

"Are you okay?" Kyle said, quietly, looking over at me.

I nodded as I continued to stare ahead, watching the moving traffic in front of us. 

We arrived at the church, I knew there wasn't going to be many people there because they had decided to keep it small, and when we walked in, I realised it was mostly their family members there. 

"Do you think Meisha will come?" Rianna whispered to me as we sat in our seats. 

I shrugged "She still hasn't answered her phone and her mum said she won't talk to anyone." I said, unbuttoning my coat. I looked around the church, trying to see any familiar faces. I saw Paris sat on the other side of the church by herself. I hadn't even expected her to turn up. 

I suddenly heard some music playing and relised the funeral was about to start. We all stood up, and the doors opened at the back of the church and a cold gust of wind came flooding in. Sebastian walked in, with his brother, they were sharing the weight of the coffin on their shoulders, with Paige walking behind them and a few other family members. The coffin was so small and white, with a blue baby blanket over it. Paige looked so fragile, she was practically shaking as she walked behind the two guys, her face was pale, her eyes were red and puffy and she was crying uncontrollably. 

The service passed in a painful, tearful blur and we headed back to Paige's house. As soon as we entered the house, Paige went up to her room, and locked the door. She wouldn't come out no matter who tried. Sebastian looked distraught but I could tell he was trying to hold it in, and her mum seemed like she was trying to keep busy to not think of what had happened. Kyle, Sebastian and Jacob , Sebastian's brother, were deep in conversation about something and Rianna was trying to call Meisha but her phone was off. Paris hadn't come back to the house so at least there was no tension. 

Paige suddenly appeared in the room, she looked so lost. She looked around the room and then focused on me.

"Ciara..." She said, gesturing for me to come over. I stood up and walked over to her. She walked out of the room, so I followed behind her. When we got into the hallway she stood there staring at me. It was weird looking at her coz she still had the baby bump, even though we knew she wasn't pregnant anymore. 

"Can I feel it? I NEED to feel it!" She said, sounding desperate, her voice cracking as she spoke. 

I knew straight away what she meant, she wanted to feel my belly. 

As we were alone in the hallway, I lifted up the front of my dress and pulled her hands toward my stomach. She froze for a moment and then relaxed as her hands touched my skin. As her hands rested there, I felt my baby move around a bit and Paige's face flooded with colour.