Good Girlz in the Hood : The Chronicles of Ciara

Chapter 34

'Beep. Beep' beep.'

I tried to open my eyes but it hurt too much; my throat was burning and my head was pounding.

"She's waking up! Quick, call the nurse!" I heard a woman's voice say

I heard a pair of footsteps leaving the room and then the same voice spoke again

"Ciara... Ciara, can you hear me?" she asked. I tried to nod but my head was still hurting.

"It's ok. You just lie still, the nurse is coming"

Two sets of footsteps came back into the room and someone opened my eyes and starting shining a light into them.

I heard two footsteps leave the room again. I managed to open my eyes now and tried to sit up.

Chelsea was the person still in the room. She walked over to the bedside table and poured me some water from the jug. I reluctantly took it from her. When I finished she helped me to sit up.

She stood at the end of my bed watching me.

"So why would you try and kill yourself." I rolled my eyes and ignored her. She had no right to know my business, the fucking dirty slut.

**

After a while, my mum re-entered the room and sat down.

"Do you know how much trouble you've caused? I can't believe you could have been so stupid to try and kill yourself. What about the rest of us you were leaving behind?"

When I didn't respond, she just kept talking.

"I mean, what could have been so bad that you wanted to die? Huh?!"

I ignored her again and I began to sense that she was getting angry when she came up in my face

"Answer me!" she snarled.

"Give me ten reasons why I need to be alive and then I will tell you why I tried to kill myself. I'm so sick of living in this world, all everybody ever does is lie to me, treat me like shit, or abuse me. AND I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT!" I screamed at her.

My dad suddenly burst through the door, followed by Chelsea and the nurse.

"Christina, what are you doing to my daughter? Don't you think she's been through enough this week?" my mum looked at my dad like he was diseased and walked out of the room.

My dad turned to the nurse and asked her if he could talk to me alone.

He sat at the end of my bed and didn't say anything for a bit.

"So... yuh cyan tell me wa gwan?" my dad was one of those black parents who when they're talking to white people they talk in a British accent, but as soon as they're around family and friends the Caribbean/African accent comes back...

I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't exactly tell my dad that I'd been in a relationship, let alone had sex with someone. He would kill me, and then hunt down Kyle.

"Things..." I said, tearing up at the thought of the fact that I had stupidly tried to kill myself, "things just get on top of you sometimes, and life gets too much. I felt like I wanted to run away, but what I really needed to do is face up to my problems and fix my mistakes."

Not that I could fix the mistake I had made - I was never going to get that child back.

"Yuh know dem wan yuh fi guh see a psychologist?"

I rolled my eyes and flopped back on the bed.

"Daddy... I don't want to see a psychologist, I just made a mistake. Can I come and stay with you for a bit?" I asked. Anytime I called my dad 'daddy' he knew I was gonna ask him for something :)