Living Under A Paper Moon (All Time Low Fanfic)

Chapter 12

The sun beamed down on me. It was too hot. I was listening to "Panic! At the Disco" too loudly through my earphones. My phone vibrated next to my leg and I sat up as fast as a bullet to see who was calling. Sarah, she normally put me in a good mood anyway so I answered.

"Hey Sarah." I said, trying my best to sound cheerful but of course it sounded as depressed as ever.

"Sophie! Guess what! Pete called me! Never mind that at the moment. Where the fuck are you? I've been looking for you! You are not at your apartment and when I called Alex he told me he didn't know where you were and didn't fucking care and Jack's in the same position as me! What the fuck is happening?!" Sarah shouted into her phone. That hurt. Alex didn't give a fuck where I was? I held back tears and hoped my voice didn't break.

"Sarah, calm down Sweetie! Hannah's after dragging me away to this hotel for the weekend, she said I needed a break after what happened the other day."

"What happened the other day Sweetie, you've ignored my calls for days now! And Jack, don't get me started on him. I called him to ask about you and he sounded like he went insane, call the poor guy back!"

"First of all, I haven't ignored your calls, Hannah has. She thinks that if I have the phone it would be a distraction. She went to meet up with Brendon. I stole my phone to see if Alex called but obviously not. Jack keeps calling, I just can't speak to him right now. And for Alex, I don't know where we stand but we're certainly not standing straight." Now the tears came. I must have looked insane to the other people lying around the pool, crying into my phone.

"Sophie, you're crying? No Sweetheart don't cry, what happened tell me, please? I'm worried!"

"Fuck Hannah's coming!" I lied through my tears. I felt horrible. "I'll call you tonight!" I hung up the phone, another thing added to the list of things on my conscience with kissing Jack and sleeping in the same bed as him and so much more at the moment. I got up and ran and dived into the swimming pool and hoped my tears would look natural now.

I wanted to warn Hannah lead singers of bands were no good for her but they looked so happy. Suddenly, they started kissing, no they were passionately, full on making out. Eww, I couldn't sit and watch them do that. I got up and walked around the club and sat down at the bar. I ordered another drink. How the fuck did Hannah persuade me to do this? Going to this club was the last thing I wanted at the moment. I took a sip of my drink and took out my phone. The man next to me ran his hand up my thigh. I slapped his hand away and made a face at him and he put up his hands in surrender and backed away. Oh how I wanted to just go and cry now. Things had changed quickly lately. Over the last year, months, weeks, days. The thing that had the biggest effect on me was that Alex didn't give a fuck about me. The purpose of this break was to find out what I wanted. I weighed out both sides. Jack had tried numerous times to contact me, I spent so much time with him lately, he cared about me, made time for me and I knew that that kiss meant something to him. Alex, Alex didn't give a fuck. I'd made my choice I picked up my phone and walked past the lovebirds eating each others faces and outside the club. I rang Jack's phone and waited for him to answer.

"Hey Jack. I'm....." I started. "Sophie! Finally! Alex is gone missing, for real this time." Jack cut me off. That hit me hard. "Come and get me. I think I know where he is."

I stared at him from behind. The moonlight shone on his hair as he looked over the ocean.

"Sophie." was all he said. He didn't look around but he knew it was me. I went over and sat at the edge of the cliff next to Alex, keeping my distance.

"Hi." was all I managed to get out, I was never good with words.

"How did you know I'd be here?" he asked not taking his eyes off the glittering ocean. His eyes were staring blankly at the water, showing no emotion of me being here.

"You're my boyfriend. I know you well enough." I mirrored his blank look. He nodded and just kept staring. I started to shiver and pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them. Alex reached out his arm and wrapped it around my waist and pulled me close to him, so I wouldn't shiver.

"Sorry, old habits." he said but he didn't let go. I stayed silent. Alex spoke again. "This place has meaning to me, more than it ever had before." a small smile spread across his face and his gaze finally moved to his lap.

"Why?" I asked. "This was the place I realised how much I loved you. Where you told me you love me." his eyes finally looked at me. He me up and down before resting them at my eyes.

"I thought you didn't give a fuck about me." I whispered, fuck why was I such an emotional person at the moment?

"What? What are you talking about you idiot? Me not giving a fuck about you? You're the reason I'm here. I came here to try remember happier times when we both loved each other. When we were both happy loving each other." he trailed off quietly. More and more tears ran down my face and Alex tried to wipe them away.He took my face in his hands and looked me straight in the eyes.

"What I said to you the other night was unacceptable. I didn't mean it. Jack and I had a fight after you left. He told me what happened. At first, I admit it, I punched him." Jack had told me this on the car ride here.

"I pushed everyone away and just didn't give a fuck about anything, well I tried not to anyway. Sophie, I understand, I drove you to this. You couldn't help falling for Jack because I was never there and he was like a comfort to you. I don't think I can give anymore to you Sophie. I love you and I always will, and that means all I want is for you to be happy. I don't think I can give you that Sophie." He stood up and began walking back he turned and waited for me. He was right, this place did have meaning. It made me realise that I loved him the first time, it also made me realise I will always love him.