Living Under A Paper Moon (All Time Low Fanfic)

Chapter 22

This chapter is from Jacks point of view.

The white walls were dull and boring, it was nice for a change that things weren't over dramatic. My hand ached but my head hurt worse. I tried to keep what had happened, all the damage I had done, at the back of my mind. I wish I knew how to delete the voice message off Sophie's phone. I seemed so desperate, like I wanted attention but all I wanted was for them to know how bad I felt. It was weird. The last few weeks I felt like I'd turned into some type of monster, I didn't know what had taken over me. I was always the happy guy that made stupid jokes and made everyone laugh. I learnt that too much drink and this weird thing that had come over me didn't go well. I couldn't even restrain myself from Sophie the other day and the poor girl couldn't help herself. Fuck this love shit. The doctor didn't seem like he was going to make my appointment soon so I decided I should just leave. I stood up awkwardly trying to keep my balance and keep my arm in the sling. It was going to be difficult to drive. I knew Matt was in the waiting room, he drove me here and was going to drive me back. I knew he wouldn't even think of letting me go to Baltimore. I decided a cab was the best way to go, it would cost me a small fortune but at this point I didn't give a fuck about anything, anything I seemed to do, I fucked up anyway. I walked out the opposite door to where the waiting room was and went to call a cab.

Every cab seemed to pass me out. I sat outside waiting for one that no one had called for themselves, and once one came along, by the time I'd stood up, caught my balance and started to walk toward it, someone else had gotten there before me. It was getting to me now. Another free taxi came and I tried yet again. No luck.

"What the fuck you asshole? I've been waiting for a fucking hour you fucking-" I started to rant to myself. A small girl about seven and her mother looked up at me, horrified.

"I'm so sor-" I began before they got up off the bench and went to wait at the curb. I rubbed my forehead. Suddenly I laughed to myself. This reminded me of the first time I'd seen Sophie. We'd been shoved on some first class flight from Ireland after our show in Ireland. I'd seen her at the airport, she looked so tired and frustrated but so adorable. Her friend Hannah seemed to be annoyed about how loud her music was, she was right honestly, I could hear our music from four or five places behind her line. Weightless, I think it was. Then on the airplane, she'd cussed louder than she should of at Hannah and people had stared at her. I was laughing at how embarrasses she'd gotten from it, it was cute. I looked back at her, she was in L.A. now, I was considering asking her out. Because we had to take a "normal" flight from Ireland, we had to collect our baggage the "normal" way. I was still watching Sophie and I knew she'd taken Alex's bag so I told him and offered to go get it. He saw Sophie and obviously thinking the same as me, declined my offer and wanted a chance to speak to her himself. That's when I lost my chance. I followed him down a few minutes later to see if he did, the smallest piece of hope remained. With my luck, of course not. She looked starstruck by the both of us. After the first "double date" we had, I thought Hannah was awesome but there was something about Sophie. After all of that and all the time I spent with her I changed. Something took over me after that, I'd do anything to have her. Even hurt my best friend of ten years. I knew I was confusing her the whole time too. It was my fault and I knew it but I knew she'd blame herself. I tried to snap back into my current state, thinking of all of that was starting to make me feel sick to my stomach. That was it, I wasn't waiting for no fucking cab at this point I'd just fucking drive to Baltimore myself.

I had it all planned out how I was going to get Matt's car keys but luckily, he was sleeping so all my plotting had gone to waste. Damn, it was a good one and all. I guess the ninjas were a bit unrealistic. I finally realised why I'd gotten so many disapproving stares this morning. I was wearing a "BONER" shirt. I laughed louder than I expected and people looked at me as if I was at the hospital as if I'd escaped from the mental institution part of the hospital. At this point I probably belonged there. Everything that happened lately was surly driving me to it. I got to Matt's car, pleased with myself honestly. Then reality hit me yet again - the bitch - and I remembered that I couldn't move my fucking right arm without howling in pain. Stupid wall was too hard. I laughed to myself again and realised how immature and insane I'd become. I really needed to drive now. I was a pretty shit driver but that wasn't going to stop me now. Instead of keeping my hands at "ten and two" I kept one hand firmly on "twelve". I'd driven for a half an hour with no problems when my phone rang. I had to answer it. It could have been Sophie. Or Alex. It was Hannah, maybe something happened Sophie. I picked up the phone with my only hand that wasn't fucked and began to drive with my knees. Probably should have earned some type of medal for amount of stupid things done in a day.

"Hello?"

"Jack! You fucking idiot! Where the fucking hell are you? Sophie and Alex are fucking missing now too!" for a tiny girl, she could shout.

"Where have they gone?" I was worried now.

"Gone looking for you! Where the fuck else! Neither of them-"

Fuck, now this was fucking pain.