It's Dark Inside (Connor x Reader)

~3~

Y/N

Zoe had gone to go check on her friend Alana. She asked me if I wanted to come along, I said it's fine if I stayed here.

I would have goth her but I didn't really know Alana and I didn't want to bother them.

So I decided to bother somebody else, Connor Murphy. As I walked to his door I memory struck me.

When I had first met Zoe, Connor was a pretty awesome kid, he was funny. He would tell the best "why'd the duck cross the road" jokes.

But to be specific on a embarrassing but funny memory, it happened when. It was the end of May or early June, and me and Zoe had been playing outside in a tree house her father had built.

Zoe and I had been minding our own business when Connor came up to talk to us. And...

Well Zoe not knowing I had a crush on her brother, she made a comment that Connor liked me and well, like said Connor at the time wasn't like the way he is now joking said "Well ya what if I do?" He laughed.

We all laughed after that, part of me was forcing the laugh to hide my feelings.

Now when I look back at this moment I laugh to myself. But then I think, he was joking, right? And besides what would it mean now.

I knocked on his door. I knocked again. And again. Then I heard him yell something. A few seconds pass and he opened the door after I asked him if I could come in. We shared a look.

A few moments had passed before I realized that some of that old happier Connor was still there. Which brought me back to when I first remembered that Connor had changed.

It happened when I was in the third grade, but that was the start of the storm that came. Before he... was not the Connor that I liked.

Another clear memory that is stuck in my mind is when Zoe came into school in the fifth grade, she came in with bruises on her arm.

She told me that Connor grabbed her in a fight they had... Connor was a dangerous person, but is he still?

It didn't seem like that to me. "Hey, you okay?" I didn't realized I had been starring at him. "Sorry." I blushed.

That's when I noticed he was hiding a small grin. "So." The air was a bit awkward now. I couldn't seem to find what else to say.

That's when I checked my phone and noticed I had two text from Evan and one missed call.

(Text)

Evan (Tree boy): Y/N? Can we talk?

Evan (Tree boy): Hey, um, I need some help, mind giving me a call?

"What are looking at?" Connor asked. "Oh Evan Hansen, we're really good friends, I think he needs my help, do you mind if I give him a call real quick?" "I don't care." He said.

I clicked on my contacts and called Evan. He picked up right away. "Hey, Y/N, um-uh, can-you-uh, order a pizza for me?"

Evan's pulled this trick on me before, I get it that he has anxiety and stuff cause like I have anxiety as well but it's not as serious as Evan's.

The thing is I shouldn't have to do this for Evan and I know it's not helping him but I still do it anyways.

And when I do call for a pizza for Evan I always have to tell the delivery person to just leave it in the porch cause Evan doesn't want to talk to people, which I get but it doesn't help him.

I called anyways cause I didn't want Evan to not eat anything. My cousin who worked there picked up. "Hey Sarah, can I get a medium cheese pizza." I asked. "Oh, sure thing Y/N."

"One more thing do you mind dropping it off at the Hansen residents and don't bother knocking on the door, also I can pay you online right?"

"Sure thing. It will be about twenty minutes till I can get it to you if that's alright." "Yep." "Okay, bye." "Bye." I ended the call and went online to pay.

Then I texted Evan and told him when the pizza should arrive. He said thanks. "So Y/N, everything still okay with your parents?" Connor looked at me.

"Well, they got divorced a year ago. My mom, she uh, well, she had an affair and is already married again and has another kid now, actually." I hadn't really talked to anyone else about this, and it felt good to let it out but it also hurt.

"I'm sorry." Why was he apologizing for this? It wasn't his fault. "Well hey I guess we both have family problems." He was trying to make me feel better.

"At least yours got things figured out, mine, well not so much." I had heard Zoe talk about how her parents fight all the time.

The mood had changed from funny to real. The room felt colder. "Y/N, I-uh. Your probably better off, I'm-." He stopped. He could feel the change in mood as well. "No Connor, it's-"

I head a knock on the door and I checked my phone to see what time it was and it was almost 8, Zoe was back.

I got up to go. And I waved back to Connor as a goodbye, and smiled. He smiled back.

I opened and shut the door behind me. As soon as we got back to Zoe's room she looked back at me confused.

"What we're you doing in Connor's room?" "I got bored, so I decided to talk to Connor."

"Did he talk?" "Ya." She even looked more confused than before. "How did you? He doesn't talk to anybody, and when he does he's mean-oh my gosh was he mean to you? Did he hurt you?" She suddenly was concerned. "No, no, no." I reassured her.

We dropped the subject, and went back in the fort. Somehow we ended up finishing the second season before we both passed out from exhaustion.

I left the Murphys house in the mourning after having some kind of vegan breakfast food. My dad waited in the driveway for me, I packed my stuff into the trunk of the car. We took off back to home.

I did what I normally do on weekdays, which remained of working at a cafeteria that was inside the local college and then heading home to finish up homework, then taking a shower and going to bed.

Right as I sat my head on down to my pillow and turned off my light, I had got a text from Connor. Should I open the text or go to sleep, one had to wait.

Sleep could wait. Connor never texted anybody, so I guess this was special. The light of my screen was kinda bright as it illuminated my face. I unlocked my phone.

{Text}

Connor: Hey 👋

You: Hi

Connor: What are you doing?

You: About to go to bed.

Connor: Why so early?

You: Connor, it's 1 am.

Connor: So...?

You: I had work today and I'm exhausted.

Connor: ...

You: What you text me for?

Connor: I forget, sorry.

I set down my phone after that, I was so tired once I sat my phone down I feel asleep.