Everything's going well with me and Luke but I still haven't had the courage to commit. I'm flying back to Manila in a few days. 2 to be exact. And even if we were already apart for a few weeks because of their US tour, I really don't see how this relationship can work without us seeing each other for uncertain periods of time and being on, literally, opposite sides of the planet.
Cam's advice resonated with me for a brief moment. But then I thought, if he himself can't man up and just get the girl back because he's too scared, how will I be able to do it?
I've thought about how I'm going to tell Luke about all of this for so many days now. As much as I don't see us working as a couple because of unfortunate circumstances, I love him and I don't want to hurt him.
The day before I was leaving, I invited Luke to the house.
I saw his car pull up in front of the lawn. He had 3 boxes of pizza and tub of ice cream. I wasn't even surprised. I bet Luke could finish 2 and, more or less, a half boxes of pizza. I love that about him.
We both knew that each of us wanted to start talking about our situation, how we're gonna deal with me having to leave, but we were both hesitating.
When he started talking about the tour, telling me how much he missed me that time, it felt like the right time to start.
"Vegas was definitely my favorite show. The crowd was so crazy. People were crowd surfing and throwing underwear everywhere. I felt so punk rock-" He paused to stuff pizza in his mouth. "Oh and you were there!" He said, pretending that he forgot. I raised my eyebrow at him.
"Just kidding!!!" He put his arms around me. Tight. " You're the reason why it was my favorite!! I missed you so much when you were gone."
I pouted. I couldn't help it. I can't take my mind off of the fact that I'll be leaving tomorrow and all of this would be gone. No Catelyn to play dress up with. No Cam to play football and share love problems with. And no Luke to make me laugh, to make me feel special, to tell me about his adventures as a punk rock star, or so he likes to think, and do fun stuff with.
A summer love was what I wanted, and now that I think I'm getting it, I'm not so sure if I still want it.
"What's wrong, Stace?" He said, tucking the hair on my face behind my ear.
"I'm sorry Luke. I just... I just can't pretend anymore." I sniff. " It's so hard to ignore the fact that I'm leaving tomorrow and all of this would be gone." I start to cry harder as he cradles me in his arms.
"Stacey, listen to me. This won't be gone. We might not see each other as much but we'll still talk right? We'll keep each other updated. Maybe we'll even go there to perform. If not, I'll come on my own. I'll find time for you, Stacey. No matter how busy I get. I promise. I've already told you so many times, we can make this work."
"But maybe you're my summer love Luke. Maybe this wasn't meant to last. Maybe, it would be best for the both of us to keep this as it is-"
"But maybe not, Stacey! Maybe not!" he cut me off, with his voice raised. "I don't want to be just your summer love." he sighed. "I want to love you during winter, spring, summer, and fall. I want to love you forever and be with you forever. After college, you could come be with me, we'll travel the world together. I can wait for you."
"You don't understand, Luke. We're too young to be making those kinds of decisions. We got our whole lives ahead of us. We can't force the whole situation."
"We can force the situation. It's you I can't force. And I never meant to force you. It's just that whenever you laughed at my jokes, listened to my stories, and looked at me so deeply, I just thought that you were actually as in love with me as I was with you. Whenever you told me how much you missed me when we're not together, I thought you want to be with me as badly as I want to be with you. And when you turned me down but told me that you'll give me a chance, it made me the happiest guy in the world and it made me think that you wanted to make this work like I do." He paused. "But I guess I thought wrong." His voice cracked. " I'm sorry, Stacey. Have a safe flight tomorrow."
And with that, he just walked out of my room. I didn't stop him though. I stayed in my room and cried my fucking eyes out. Partly because I was mad at our situation. why did I have to meet him? Why did I have to meet him here? Why did he have to be on the verge of becoming the most famous band? Why can't he be some normal, totally not complicated boy from next door? Why can't he be from the Philippines? But I was crying mostly because everything already happened and I couldn't change a thing.
I woke up to my mom calling me for dinner. My eyes felt swollen. I got up to look at the mirror and they were. Ughhh. I put on my glasses so it's not as noticeable when they see me.
"Are all of your bags packed?" My dad asked.
"Yup, packed and ready to leave." I lied. I've packed but no, I'm not ready to leave.
"Awww, we're not ready to let you go." My aunt cried.
"We'll miss you guys." My mom replied.
The dinner was longer than usual. My parents, my aunt, and my uncle talked about all the things that happened the past couple of months and how they'll miss having us. They also talked about our relatives back home. When it was getting boring, I told them I was already sleepy.
"Hey Stace! I almost forgot, there was a big paper bag, in the front door step a while ago. It's for you." My mom said, handing me a paper bag.
"Thanks. Good night. Love you guys." I ran up to my room as fast as I could.
When I got in my room, I stared at the paper bag my mom gave me. It was big and blue. About half as tall as me. I was curious but scared at the same time. I didn't want to deal with any more drama after what just happened. Maybe I could open it when I get back to the Philippines.
I lied down in bed and closed my eyes to relax my mind for a little bit.
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A/N I'm sorry Stacey was so stupid and confusing. But I promise, everything will fall into place xx
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Summer Love
FanfictionMaybe. A word that is often said but often undermined. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm just making this up. Maybe for you maybe is just another word, but for me, maybe keeps me going. Maybe opens up millions of possibilities for every si...