Manhunt (Sequel to Bechloe - Chicago was a mistake)

Chapter 8 - Not So Drunken Mistakes

*TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THE CHAPTER I AM SORRY!!!*

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Beca's POV

When I got in I headed straight to the room and decided to finish off the mix I had been working on. I completely threw myself into it. After a couple hours I was finally done and I wanted to show someone so I tried my dad. When I went downstairs I found him and the step-monster on the sofa.
"Hey dad can I show you something real quick?" I tried to show him but he sounded really uninterested.
"What is it Beca?"
"I just made a new mix and I was wondering if you wanted to hear it."
"Just play it, your step-mother can hear it too."
"Okay." I played it for them and Sheila seemed to like it.
"It's amazing."
"Thanks Sheila, what do you think dad?" I wanted so desperately for him to like it.
"To be honest, it's like you don't even try."
"What?" As he said that I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
"You heard what I said."
"But what do you mean?" I was desperately hoping that he'd just misspoken and didn't mean what he'd said.
"Well I mean you just make one of these every day and don't really put that much effort into it. It's not even that great."
"You can't just say that." At least Sheila was defending me a little. "You can't just say that to your daughter. She has worked hard on this and it's a great song even if it's not your taste you don't need to be a shitty person and shitty father."
"Thank you Sheila but it's okay. If that's what he thinks I'll just work harder."
"Beca please don't go."
"No it's alright I'll catch you guys later." As I was walking up the stairs I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. I thought I was trying my hardest I guess even if I was it wasn't good enough. I wanted to cry but I couldn't get any tears to fall, not that I could cry around them anyway. I thought I was doing well but I guess life was moving too fast for me to. My anxiety was just too much as I got up to my room. I knew a break down was coming soon but for now I was going to keep bottling everything up. I didn't have a support net or anything so I couldn't even let anything out. I checked the groupchat to see if I'd missed anything that I could possibly use to distract myself, I hadn't. I had no messages, not from Chloe, not from Amy, not from any of the other Bellas and not even from my boyfriend. I guess I was all alone, yet again.

I couldn't believe how I'd acted earlier with Chloe when I thought about everything. As I recapped my day I kept hearing Chloe's broken voice and remembered the utter fear I felt. This day had been a lot for me and for anyone and I needed to get some of my pain out. I did in the end with the help of a little metal friend. I spent hours in my room just thinking after that. I was going to improve my mix but just gave up in the end since I'd never be good enough anyway. A couple minutes after I'd first got up to my room I texted Chloe and apologised. When I apologised I didn't give an excuse because I hate excuses myself I just told her what I was sorry for. I put my phone down after that but couldn't stop myself from checking it every few minutes. I soon regretted that when I saw 'Read' almost instantly. I gripped onto my phone for dear life, hoping desperately for a reply but not even the typing bubble came up. I couldn't take anything anymore so I turned my phone completely off, grabbed a bottle and a bit of vodka from under my bed and left. I didn't give an explanation to the parents I heard fighting outside and they didn't ask for one, they didn't even notice I left. That in itself made me feel so shitty. I didn't look after that I just kept walking, with my bottle of vodka hitting my lips every couple steps. It burned like hell going down but it wasn't unlike anything I hadn't had before and it certainly wouldn't stop me. I didn't walk too far before I stopped at a tree on the quad, I sat there for about an hour just downing the bottle of straight alcohol. After a couple swigs I hated the taste but the affect I knew it would have on me was all too appealing to stop. Once I reached the bottom of the first half bottle is when the fun began. I made my way to Chloe's hotel since I knew where she was now and then made my way to her room. When I got up there I was way too terrified to knock so I sat outside and tried to drink more, I didn't last too long. I hadn't eaten anything all day except for the pancakes Chloe had made this morning and I wished I had to, help battle the drunkenness. There was darkness clouding my sight which confused me because the hallway was pretty well-lit. I knew what this was, I'd felt it before when I was passing out. I felt such pain in my stomach and soon there was bile rising in my throat. I wanted so badly for everything to just stop but I couldn't and it was too late now anyway. As a last ditch effort I tried to knock on the door opposite me and get Chloe's help but I only managed a weak knock, I'd barely touched the door. I didn't even know if she was home but I guess I just had to hope. I didn't have much time to listen to footsteps as I projectile vomited down the hallway, I felt like Aubrey. I'd just finished a vomit quick session when the door opened. I made eye contact with who was standing there and found Chloe wide-eyed and half naked next to a very confused Tom.
"I'm sorry." I just about managed to get out those words before the overwhelming urge to sleep pushed me to lay down. I wasn't directly in my own vomit but it smelt atrocious. I slowly closed my eyes and let sleep take me but it didn't. I felt a pair of arms shaking me and heard a worried voice.
"Beca no. Don't you dare go to sleep. Tom call an ambulance." I only realised I had been cuddling something when it was taken out of my arms. By it I mean the 2nd bottle of vodka, it wasn't unopened and it certainly wasn't full. I didn't think I'd had all that much to drink but apparently my body disagreed with me. I tried to stay awake for her I really did and after I slowly opened my eyes and saw the baby blues I got a sudden urge to fight.
"I'm sorry." It didn't last long and my eyes started to close again. She kissed my forehead and begged me to stay awake but I just couldn't do it and soon found myself in complete darkness. I did get to hear one final thing though,
"I forgive you."