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L o v i n g ~ Next time you daydream...

We're encouraged to use our imagination since elementary school.

When we get older, reality scares us back into the comforts of our mind, and suddenly those sweet cotton candy daydreams we used to love as a kid may end up rotting our minds; our imagination can hurt us more than it can help.

We must be careful in terms of why we daydream; we might subconsciously be setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others or use it to escape from our problems.

Let's meet in the middle and dream while being present.

After all, being present is a key to happiness – and there's science to back it up.

And as crazy as it sounds, Matt Killingsworth conducted study that proved people are happier when their minds aren't wandering.

Really, the only reason you daydream is because in the moment, you feel you could be doing something better or more uplifting, so you choose to mentally pull yourself out of the present and enter a nonexistent space to make yourself happier.

I daydreamed a lot through my elementary and high school years and even going into university.

When I was bored as a kid, I'd pop my headphones in and daydream about another life where I was happier, cooler, popular and more attractive.

These alternate realities were my happy spots that I secretly knew were impossible to achieve and very unrealistic, which made them so sweet and tempting to dream of. I could be anything, do anything, have anything. When I daydreamed, I'd get lost for hours in my head as time flew by.

Now nineteen, I recently thought about my love for daydreaming as a kid and thought I'd try it again on my commute home from work.

During the two-hour train ride, I laid my head back on the seat, closed my eyes and cranked up whatever song I already had playing through my headphones.

I waited for this awesome alternate reality to create itself in my head, but it didn't take long to realize I had run into a blank wall.

I didn't feel like daydreaming. I didn't want to put energy towards creating an alternate life.

At first, I assumed my imagination tank ran out of fuel because I was getting older and maybe I'd become too much of a realist.

Then I realized I didn't want to because... well, why dream of an alternate life when I know it won't ever be achievable?

Wouldn't I rather want to be present with the one I have now?

And try to focus on my happiness and personal growth in the present and within time, slowly manifest a life better than the life I dreamed of as a kid?

Why be a princess when I can be a #bossgirl who rules the world with a successful career, powerful mindset and sharp intellect?

Yes - my life is currently really fucked up at the moment with my endless list of physical and mental health issues, sex issues, and relationship issues.

But there are some pretty fucking amazing things too.

That's another difference between the life I daydreamed of versus the one I'm living. When I was a kid, the life I daydream of was one where I always won.

Despite there being soft conflict in my dreams, I always got what I wanted. I got the happy ending every time.

But in real life, you will win and lose. It won't always be a clean ending, things get messy.

And that's what makes reality such a beautiful mess. It tears us down and we build ourselves back – some days we laugh with all the vigor in our body and absorb all the love surrounding us until we're glowing. And some days we can't lift ourselves out of bed because the sadness weighs us down and there are people we trust who hurt us so fucking bad.

There's something valuable in truly experiencing something for yourself.

So, when I stared out the train window with my headphones in, I thought about the happy memories I had made in this life. I laughed at the silly moments and embarrassing ones, the unexpected times where things played out in a magical way that I never even thought was even possible, the beautiful one-of-a-kind people I was lucky to have met, the weekend getaways and trips that kept me up all night smiling and long days with certain people that made me feel all kinds of funny warm ways.

Even if it's with people that I can no longer call my friend or are no longer a part of my life, I still thought of those memories anyway.

I used to be scared to think about those people that walked away – we all are.

I was hesitant to think about it. You're afraid to gradually become obsessed with that person who won't ever return, or you may grow an attachment for someone who left you long ago and you know won't be coming back – but I think the beautiful part of life is that we can never forget them.

Initially, it's sick thought. The idea we can't forget the way someone hurt us.

The beauty in it is coming to a point where you can remember the pain – but it doesn't hurt anymore.

Remembering pain doesn't mean it has to hurt. Remembering pain is recalling a lesson.

So go out there and make the best out of what you have right now. That instead of choosing to live a life that isn't yours, you choose to be present with the life you have. Relive the happiest moments you already made, and soon, you will make new ones.

Greater and better moments that dreams aren't big enough to create.

Stop daydreaming.

Choose to live.