When I was fifteen, I remember sitting on my living room floor crying.
I had been in a constant feeling of shit for the past two weeks (and for the rest of the next 4 months) due to a breakup and like every girl undergoing this angsty life-fucking tragedy, I was an active participant in the 'Boys-suck-I'm-never-dating-again-I-hate-everyone' club.
My mom sat across from me on the rug and watched the unattractive clumps of snot dribble down my bottom lip.
"Mom" – I sniffed – "Breakups suck. Goddamit – they're...they're just so stupid."
She grabbed my one shoulder, handed me a tissue, stared in my watery eyes and said in the most soothing motherly voice, "And there's many more after this one."
Someone fucking hand her the 2018 Mom of the Year award.
Her words sunk in and I remember for the next 10 seconds, my mind went into fight or flight mode:
WTF.
Why would you say something like that?
Nothing can get worse than this.
No way. I refuse to believe there could be a worse feeling. I'd honestly rather get hit by a truck – that'd probably feel way better.
But even when my initial reaction was to flee, to deny any thought of further pain, to run away from the uncomfortable truth – there was still a tiny part of me that knew she was right.
I instantly hated my mom in that moment.
I almost felt entitled to feel good – isn't that what we're told?
When someone feels like crap, it makes sense to try and make them feel better – feed them words of encouragement, positive affirmations, motivational advice to stay optimistic.
After a couple of days passed, I was still caught up in why my mom would say such an awful thing.
Now I get it.
It's such a simple reason yet we choose to ignore this way of living.
I know this is what you and anyone else going through a cluster of fucking disasters wants to hear:
"Everything is going to be okay."
Let's be real – life doesn't care if you're going to be okay or not. No matter how many times you hit life's curveballs out of the park, it'll just keep pitching you more problems.
But, Azia! What about the special people who are happy 100% of the time? They have no problems. It's not fair.
1. They're not special. Those people are no different than you and I. Economically – maybe. But there are hundreds of depressed billionaires counting down their last days, meanwhile there are the happiest workers that work minimum wage jobs.
2. There's no such thing as being happy 24/7.
What makes the happiest people admirable and 'happy' isn't that they have less problems. They probably have the same amount of problems as you and I.
But if they have the same amount of problems, how come they're happier?
They're the happiest because they make better choices when it comes to which problems they care about.
They accept that problems will never leave.
They give a damn about the important things that relate to their values, and if need be, change their values to make their problems easier to handle.
YOU ARE READING
Sad Girl Clapback *Now Available in Amazon*
Non-Fiction*PUBLISHED as 'Tired of Being Tired, Sick of Being Sad' by Azia To *now on amazon* This is the book I wish I had when I was 12, 13, 14 and growing up until I was 20. It's the stuff I wish I told my high school self. *** This is how I feel - these a...
