"Ja-Jan?" He hesitantly ask.
I nodded when I started to cry. Then I felt his arms around me. I know he was just trying to comfort me but I felt even more sorry for myself.
I've given my virginity to someone who didn't even know it was me. I gave i...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It took too long for me to decide whether everything is worth it. I have avoided talking to him for a long time. After the break up, he never ceased to call me, I blocked his number, never wanting to hear his voice again.
It was too painful. Too costly. Whatever Jin and I had, it cost me my friendship with Ken. The one friend I can run to. Now, he's gone... both of them gone in my life.
Somehow, there's still a part of me that wishes I have never met them. That I didn't agree to work for Jessie. Maybe my life would still be peaceful, uneventful, but still peaceful.
I would still have a best friend.
My hands reach for the play button on my phone.
Trying to comfort myself I tell myself the world can't be perfect
Then I wouldn't meet Jessie. She's as much of a friend as Ken. I know if I was pushed to a wall, Jessie would do everything to crush that wall.
I start to let myself go The thundering applause, I can't own it forever
I wouldn't meet the boys. Not as bangtan but as the real persons behind the camera. How much they love what they're doing. How passionate they are in creating music.
I tell myself, so shameless Raise your voice higher
Was it really worth it? Swallowing my pride. Talking to the person I've hurt the most so I could save their careers?
Even if the attention isn't forever, I'll keep singing
I know. If Namjoon gets cut off then it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be the same bangtan who help me thru trying times with their music. Those days when I can't even call Ken. When Namjoon's words guided me.
I want to stay this way for life I want to stay young forever
I pushed stop and got my bag and hailed a cab. It felt shameful to took me this long to decide. My pride doesn't mean a thing if I'm giving them a chance to continue what they love most while being with loved ones.
——
Jessie answered the door and she was already at brink of crying when she saw me. "I'm calling Ken. What's the plan?"
Jessie kissed me full on the lips and hugged me. "Fuck you, bitch. I thought you're gonna choose your pride over me."
"Your husband's here." I told her as I push her off me.
"Can you kiss her again, Jess?" Yoongi said with his phone camera pointing at us.
"No. Yoongi. Let's get down to business." Jessie said.
