"Ja-Jan?" He hesitantly ask.
I nodded when I started to cry. Then I felt his arms around me. I know he was just trying to comfort me but I felt even more sorry for myself.
I've given my virginity to someone who didn't even know it was me. I gave i...
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Namjoon was waiting on our porch while sending some messages on his phone. He seems to be too absorbed in what he was doing that he didn't noticed I already went out.
"Ehem... ehem.." I said hoping to catch his attention by swinging side to side.
Namjoon raised his head then return back on his phone and raised his head again. Then he let out a chuckle. "You don't have to try that hard for our dates."
I felt disheartened.
The sundress that I'm wearing was personally picked by Hani. I spent two hours brushing my hair, another hour ironing it and making the perfect curls and all for trying too hard.
"Fuck you." I said loosening the way the I walk to my usual gait.
"That's more like it."
"Why are you late?" I asked then suddenly Namjoon reached out and kiss my lips. It was just a peck but goosebumps appeared on my arm.
"Seeing a friend off. Sorry, princess."
Another kiss. Another thump in the chest.
Then that smile.
"Do you hate it when I kiss you?" He said.
The question left me dumbfounded. My mind wasn't able to come up with a proper answer.
If I say, no... he might joke about it leaving me like a pathetic teenage girl with busted feeling.
If I say, yes... it might be serious and end up hurting his feeling.
What do I really feel?
Both.
I hate that he's probably seeing Hani in me and that's why she keeps on kissing me.
I love the feeling of his lips on mine.
"Does it matter? we're fake dating anyway." I said instead, finally we reach my car.
Namjoon thinly smiled as he opened the driver's seat for me. "This is awkward, sorry for not knowing how to drive and not owning a car."
"So, where are we going?" I asked.
"I'm hungry, let's eat." Namjoon said.
"— are we gonna cook at your dorm so you could slice my hand so I could get a scar, too." I told him in a sing song manner.
Namjoon shakes his head. "If I want that then I can get a chopping knife inside your house and slice your hand instead. Here's the restaurant." He said showing me his phone.
