Beginning Of Something New (sequel to the letter story)

Chapter 4: Like The First Time

a/n note: New chapter here at last! In this chapter there is some kissing and so on, then you are not okay with reading so yeah just a warning. - Karin :) 

Woke up the next day, but still did not know what I would say to the other. Hope I would come up with a solution in the day. When I would just get up and pull away the covers to go up Niall pulled me down again.

"Good morning" he whispered in my ear.

"Morning darling" I replied back.

"Can not we just lie here a while," he said and pulled me towards him. "No, I replied with firm tone we have guests unless you forgot it already or what?"

"okay, but try to get out then". Niall replied teasingly and kept a tight grip on me. I tried to get out of his grip, but after being trying and not succeeded loosed the grip and I was breathing heavy.

"5 minutes only okay?" Niall nodded. Though it there 5 minutes became 10 minutes then a half times in bed. Niall had fallen asleep on his arms around me.

I was tired of being in the hot and sweaty bed. I got up and got ready. Actually, I had not cared and continued walking around in my underwear but we had guests so. I went downstairs to the kitchen. And the meeting of Harry standing half naked.

"Oh sorry" he said and scratched his stomach. He then added a good morning by the way.

"It's okay" I replied. Harry then disappeared up the stairs, have to admit that he looked damn good. Got a picture of him in the head, which I quickly had to shake me off. I had Niall. Think he chose me among all women girls in the world? And it just would be Niall Horan from one of the world's most popular bands. Totally sick now when I think about it.

I open the fridge and started to fix breakfast. After a while, around 10 o'clock came the other down. Besides Niall. So I went practically up and pulled him down for breakfast. When I said it would be breakfast so then he wanted to go up.

The other was to fly home tonight so it was a short visit it come here. Karin thought we could take a walk in the park So thats what we did, though the guys and Amelia stayed home. I would then have an opportunity to talk about the situation.

I was preparing tea in my takeaway cups and we waved goodbye to the guys who sat in front of the telly.

"It's so nice here quite, not quiet as in London nice and come off a bit especially for Amelia and experience new people and so on," said Sophia.

"Yeah it's nice here when you want to come to a quiet and able to relax," I said. I had always thought about how I would tell it. We sat down on a green bench and I looked at everyone who was there and played with their children. It hurt so much in my heart, my desire for children had grown.

 Suddenly looked El at me and asked "what are you looking worried?"

Should I wait or should I say it now? Now came several 1000 different a scenario in my head. I started

"okay, the thing is that I can not stand to see a lot of parents with their children" Everyone looked at me with a what do you mean stare.

"I have a strong desire children, better it gets not because I will never have my own children Niall can not have children, I will probably not be able to say he aw she looks just like you Niall or sit in the hospital and be freed from pain when our baby comes out "I said and started to cry.

The girls looked surprised and then started Karin talk. "No so sad what will you do? you know that I and the other will always be here for you" the girls nodded in agreement.

"Do not know, we were at the doctor yesterday and he said it could go with the pills but it would be difficult and not safely. We should discuss for adoption. "

I took a break and breathed wiped the tear from my cheek Then I continued. "The worst thing is that we try all the time and every time it becomes a hope we can succeed get kids and hurries us through the act or what to call it. We do not do it for the love and the feeling anymore as I wish.

"This was really sad to hear, you had said it erlier maybe Amelia and Liam could be ho..." said Sophia. I interrupted her.

"Oh no it's okay don’t think about that," I said and looked at her and smiled.

"Have you spoken to Niall about this?" Said El

"No, what?"

"I'm not a psychologist or so but maybe good to talk more about it on how you and he feels, maybe he feels like you?"

"Yes'll do it, without trying to make him  laugh and turn red on the cheeks." I said and laughed lightly.

"Shall we go?" 'I added

"Sure, and you should know that we are here if you want talk about it okay? We love you. " was all the girls have to say multiply times I smiled and replied

"Thank you."

We started walking home with a stop for some food for lunch.

Before they would go home, we also had me and Karin plans to film a video with the other. We both each had youtube channel and wanted to do a video together.

We walked home slowly with bags of Nandos and nobody said anything. I thought most of what I said before.

In the later afternoon, I feel pretty down. Everything just feels wrong. I had started on this trip would be the happier. But now everyting was fuckted up.

Took the break while we were filming for our video to cry. I ran to the bathroom and cried. The tears just rolled down my cheeks. I sat there a long time, so long that Niall came and knocked on the door and asked if everything was good. This would not happen fuck why? I just wanted everyone to go home so I could be myself with Niall. And to tell him how bad everything was how disponted I was as on me. He went down again when I said that everything was good. But I feel really bad for not said anything then and I wanted to tell so I screamed  "Niall" then he come up. And he practically ran up the stairs and wondered what it was for something that happened. I opened the door and he looked surprised. It was long since he saw me so sad and saw me with red swollen eyes after all the crying.

I started to explain that to him. The words just wants to get out of me. I breathed to take a break. He looked at me and kissed me with his soft lips and said

"sweet heart everything will go well we can do this, you and I okay it will be hard but we'll get through it."

When the others have gone home we do it, as our first time when we did it for love and nothing else, I love you you're my everything."

I responded with an “I love you okay ."

In evening we Niall and I hugged all goodbye and said there had been so much fun when they were here. And that I would miss them.

We both sat down then on the couch and watched some boring TV programs that I did not understand anything what it was about, but Niall laughed anyway and seemed to think the program was fun. I got tired. And leaned forward and kissed him and we started making out.

Everything felt so good the kiss felt like when we loved each other, when we kissed for the first time. Niall stood up and took my hand. We went towards the bedroom. Everything felt so good now.

The thoughts I previously had were still left in my head. I know the solution when you feel physically ill is not to make love with someone you love to feel happy. But the main thing is that I feel better of it so. We lay down on the bed and continued kissing and tuching. We undressed our hands traveled over our bodies. It felt like the first time when we were nervous and anxious about how everything would be while happy that we were together. We both moan togheter.

 Afterwards I moved slowly in Nialls hair with my hand and he kissed me "I love you"

I felt happy again, at least for the moment, of course, thought I was still on a lot of things and so on, but everything just felt so good to lie there in Nialls arms around me. whispering wonderful things about me.