Shattered // JJKxReader

Chapter 33

"Chance. The word i'm waiting between the both of us. Chance, to escape from this trap."
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A few days later...

Y/N POV

Nights after nights, he always ask me to be in his room.

I swear, we done nothing.

Not that I thought it would be- since I am used to serve his "hunger" at night.

But no.

All I did was just be a company for him.

I just sit there, on the edge of his bed, talking to him until he flew away in his dreamland.

After i found him deep in his sleep, I usually tuck him in his blanket and turn down the lights.
I always prayed for him to rest well and hoping that he would sleep calmly before I leave his room.

Eventhough i still feel nervous or scared to be near him, and how each day is just getting weirder between us,

I am thankful that at least i can do a useful thing for him. I can finally slowly erase my status for being such a burden to him.

By being there for him calm his broken heart or forget his sadness a little.

At least I thought it would be.

I know i got no special impact for him.

I always know my place from the start.

Days after days I am more realized by the fact that i just get used for his loneliness and his impingement.

At first, i'm confused towards his weird actions.

Jungkook nearly shows his calm and gentle acts towards me. I am surprised by how another sweet side of him exists.

It does weird things to me. I'm worried for myself and for him too.

Talking to Jimin makes me realized I'm just his rebound.

But all of that doesn't matter to me. I was used getting scared, but all I need now is some bravery to do at least something to help him.

He's struggling.

It creates a little happiness for me, knowing I can help him a little, by the smallest impact. I also don't need to feel bad anymore since things ended between him and her.

Eventhough I always be her shadow.
No one can replace his love towards her.

He doesn't get the bad dreams anymore, but sometimes he likes to whisper her name.

It hurts me, but I believe I can get over with it quickly.

What hurts me more is how hurt Jungkook is right now.

These nights i like to stare at him sleeping and think about what he had been through.

Why did she hurt you?
How can she does that?
After i see how much you love her and how you giving everything to her, she had a chance to do this to you?
I can see it on your eyes..
That you still love her.

Knowing the fact that what kind of woman she is now makes me angry. I just can't stop asking myself on why she does that to Jungkook.

Well the least I can think of is,
Realizing that i can never be a meaningful part of his life.
I'm just a trash who bugging and forcing into someone's life.
Yet, i still stay to get used,
Without caring or knowing how i feel now.