~Dear lover heather~ Evan Hansen X heather reader

~ depression stage ~

(Y/n)
After my trip, I started to get depressed and I just lost it and I sobbed and I said " stop being so fucking weak!!" And I just got knocked out and I saw everyone leaving me....alone...and I just scanned over my life and realize that am broken one and everyone else is the "fixed" one and I said to my mom " mom going to market" and I saw pack razor blades and I said to myself " fine I get it.." And I got home and I grab  a razor blade and slide the blade on my skin and I said " hello pain.." And I ran to my room and my mom said " hey y/n" " yeah" " umm one your friends came"  " just tell them am not here " and my mom let them in and it's y/f/n, bf/n and Evan...

And I said hide the razor blades and y/f/n said " give me the box" and I said with lies on my face " what box?!" And she said a little louder " give me the box!" And I said " why should I?!!?" And I started walking to my door and I ran out of my own house!?
And y/f/n said " don't stand there get her!" And they both start running and I said " leave me alone!!!" And they said " no if you give us the box we will!" And I saw two places at I can go and I pick the hiking one and I saw Evan going there and I climbed a tree and said " leave me alone!!" And grab another razor and sliced my skin and said " yes!!" And Evan saw and I started crying and jumping to tree to tree and I got out of the forest and I ran back home and I started crying and my sister got my box and I got half the razors and she sat by me and said " just give them the box" and i said while sobbing " w-w-why.." And she said " if you want them to leave you alone give them the box " and I handed the box to my sister and she was scared and she looks down at me

And she said " why!?!" And I said " I want to kill my self!!!!" And I said in whisper " it's depression okay" and she said " come on sis how doesn't love you?" And I said " everyone " and this " look sis everyone likes you okay? and we your family and friends love you so much" and I look up and I said " I know but no one else can see that am depressed!!" And she hugged me and she said this at hurts but it was true  " you will be satisfied but your not going to throw way your shot" and said " this nature to everyone does this but it dangerous If you kill your self everyone is going to cry so do you want to kill your self I give you time up?" and I think

And said in my mind " shut up and stop being weak okay"
And I said
~ depression stage it over..~
(Okay guys is serious one and yup you suffer from depression but your making a great recovery and I suffer from depression don't worry I don't do self harm and If ever feel depressed talk about it and don't ever give up and don't kill your self and....toon out 574 words)