Satisfaction

Chapter 5

I slowly opened my eyes to the world when the sunlight shone in through the curtains. I rubbed the crust out of my eyes and sat upright on the bed. It was easy tell my hair was a disheveled mess without even looking at it. I then recalled my predicament from last night. I looked to my left where Scott slept but there was just an empty space and a discarded pillow on the floor. Confused, I looked up and saw Kirstie, already up, getting her straightener out of her bag to do her hair. She noticed me staring.

"Oh, you're awake!" she said, grinning.

"Yeah, where's--" She cut me off.

"Scott just went out to get us some Starbucks, he should be back soon." Kirstie explained. I nodded.

And speak of the devil, the door opened and in walked Scott with three cups in his hands. With every step he took closer to me, my heart was thumping in my chest. He gave me my coffee and I swear his hand lingered for a little bit. I smiled at him nervously and then took a sip from the straw. He winked at me which, admittedly, made me melt where I was sitting. Scott was making it really hard for me not to love him. I couldn't help but watch as he gave the other coffee to Kirstie.

"Alright, I'm gonna go take a shower really quick," he said, pointing to the bathroom. He turned on his heel and strutted in.

There was an awkward silence for a little bit as I stirred my coffee with the straw idly, lost in my thoughts. Once I heard the shower turn on, Kirstie put down her straightener even though she wasn't done and sat down on the bed, right next to me.

"Okay, what's up with you and Scott?" Kirstie interrogated in a whisper, with a smirk plastered on her face.

My eyes widened. Was I that obvious? "What are you talking about?" I asked in a sharp whisper. I tried to stop myself from blushing to no avail. I put my hands on my cheeks and I felt how warm they were.

She giggled and then poked me in the stomach, making me smile awkwardly, "I'm talking about how I saw the way you looked at him when he gave you your coffee... And come to think of it, all the other times I've seen the two of you interact."

Code red! Kirstie suspects something! My thoughts started going a mile a minute. Did she know? If so, would she blab to Scott? I took my small chance of hiding it and did very smoothly. "I don't have a crush on Scott! Why are you telling me all these lies?" Yes, very smoothly. I tried not be overly loud, God forbid Scott hears me from the bathroom.

Kirstie raised her eyebrow. I wanted to slap myself at that moment but refrained from doing it. "Who said anything about you having a crush?" She grinned evilly.

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Isn't that what you were implying?" All she did was shrug. I did my best to stay firm but I broke after about 0.2 seconds. I covered my face in hands to hide my reddening cheeks. "You cannot tell Scott about this! I honestly wouldn't put it past you!"

Kirstie gasped over dramatically and pouted. I rolled my eyes at her. She laid her hand on my shoulder and I looked at her with my brows raised. "Have some faith in me; I wouldn't do that to you!" I was a little annoyed, but also slightly relieved that she would keep this a secret.

I let out an exasperated sigh and allowed myself to fall back on the bed. Kirstie laid down with me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't know why I did this to myself. Especially when he's already taken." I turned to side so I could face the wall.

Kirstie tried to comfort me by rubbing my side, "You can't control how you feel."

"I just wish that sometimes I didn't have to feel anything." I said, sadly. I looked at Kirstie and tears began to form in her eyes. I closed my eyes to stop my own tears from coming. "I obviously can't tell him now, can I?"

I let her run her fingers through my hair as she remained silent. After a long pause, she finally spoke, "It'd be better than keeping it bottled up inside."

That wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping she'd give me. My problem was that I didn't want to be in a relationship with my best friend. I know I'm only going to hurt him in the long run. She wouldn't understand. I don't need the 'listen to your heart' spiel right now; like Scott would say, I needed to listen to my brain and be smart about this. I felt so stressed out, I almost felt sick. I wiped my eye to stop a tear from coming out. Kirstie did the same and got out of my bed and went to finish doing her hair.

At this very moment, I made it very clear to myself that I would at all costs fall out of love with Scott. How I'm going to do that, I'm clueless. And despite what Kirstie said, I would not confess my feelings to him. Who knows, maybe the crush would just die out on its own. I certainly hope so.