Satisfaction

Chapter 6

After a little bit, Scott finished his shower and got out of the bathroom all dressed for the day. He wore black cargo shorts and a white T-shirt. I grabbed all my things and went in to take a shower myself since the five of us were going to sight seeing today. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I was even up for it.

I began by taking off my shirt in the mirror and noticed the pudge in my stomach. I sighed and shook my head. My gosh, I look so chubby. Even if Scott was single, I don't see how he, or anyone for that matter, could consider this even remotely attractive. I stripped from the rest of my clothes and turned on the water before hopping in.

I stood there deep in thought as the hot water fell down on my body. No matter what topic came to my mind, my thoughts always ended up coming back to Scott. I'm becoming obsessed with him. Why now though? I only just now broke up with Travis and I'm already onto somebody else. He and Scott don't deserve this. Sometimes I really hated how my brain worked. I thought about how perfect of a world it would be if I just didn't have to feel anything. I wouldn't be overly sensitive anymore, I wouldn't be passive aggressive or bitter anymore, and I wouldn't have to worry about feeling unsatisfied and empty. Nobody would ever get hurt around me.

I realized how long I had been standing there and started to scrub my body. About five minutes, I was done and wrapped myself in a towel to dry off. After I was no longer wet I threw some clothes on. I heard that it might get pretty hot later so I wore a red T-shirt, light blue jean shorts and sandals. I quickly did my hair in the same fashion as yesterday and applied some cover up to the blemishes on my face.

After brushing my teeth, I examined myself in the mirror more time. I tried sucking in my gut but I gave up because I wouldn't fool anyone. I came out of the bathroom and saw Kirstie and Scott lounging on the couch watching Spongebob on the huge television. I almost wanted to join them but I couldn't be around Scott right now. It just wouldn't feel right.

"Guys, I'm gonna go get some air." I said.

Scott sat up and looked at me. "But this is, like, your favorite episode!" Scott pointed out. Band Geeks was a really good episode but I just couldn't. Kirstie looked at me, with a concerned face.

"I've already seen it a million times, I've just gotta get out."

Scott got up and walked up to me. My heart was beating super fast. He put the back of his hand against my forehead. I could feel Kirstie staring at us. "Are you feeling alright?"

I quickly removed his hand from my face which made him jump slightly. "Everything's fine, okay?" I said, my voice going up an octave.

I could tell Scott thought something was wrong because of the way he was looking at me but nonetheless, he let me go. "Alright, you go ahead. The rest of us will leave later."

I nodded and walked out the door. I went into the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. I released a deep breath I didn't realize was holding. I really hope Scott didn't think I was mad at him, I was only pissed with myself. The doors separated and I was in the lobby. As I was leaving, the doorman greeted me with a 'good morning'. I only nodded in return. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed the home button to check the time. Though it was only a little past eleven o'clock, the city was already extremely busy and crowded. I don't think I could ever get used to this.

"Maybe doing some exploring and finding new places and new people on my own will help me get over this silly crush." I mumbled to myself. I put away my phone and began walking in the direction of a nearby music store I passed yesterday.

The second I entered into the door, I shivered. It must've been twenty degrees cooler in there than it was outside. I rubbed my arms and strolled down the aisles looking from side to side. I picked up some of the CD's and looked at the artists. There were a variety of different genres ranging from EDM to R&B. After a minute, I stopped walking when there was a pair of headphones to my right. I reached for them and placed them on my ears. It was Beyonce's song Crazy in Love. Needless to say it reminded me of Scott and myself. We mentioned in an episode of Superfruit that it was the perfect song to describe our friendship and that was no lie. I chuckled at some fond memories from when we just met in CATS until now.