Chapter 33

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You know it hurts a lot when you realize the team you call your family, decided to up and drop you for the wolves.

I make mistakes too.

I make wrong choices too.

Why can't I be forgiven for them?

Not properly checking where Rumlow's was going to hit wasn't intentional. I never meant for anyone to get hurt. I never meant for anyone to die.

But maybe that was just it.

I've never made a mistake before.

I've never failed.

Until now.

Maybe it's just my intellectual thinking.

Or maybe, it has something to do with the fact that I was lying, about what is really happening to me.

Either way, it was pointless.

You're nobody.

They see me as this beacon of light that could solve everybody's problem, everyone--but my own. And it pissed me off.

Alone. Again. Like you always will be.

The words were really getting to me.

At times I feel like dissecting my brain just to figure out who's actually talking. I don't know what I'd find.

But maybe the word I'm actually looking for is; crazy.

Yeah, I hear voices in my head that tells me I'm nothing. That isn't normal. It's not.

And I can't help but think back to the time when it first started.

I think it was the moment, I saw Loki's sceptre for the first time back in Sokovia.

I heard the call to it.

I felt the connection, between the six Infinity Stones.

But the voice, wasn't coming from the stones. It was coming from somewhere else.

I use to be able to ignore it. After all, it was only a whisper.

But that was before.

The very thing that's been making me powerful is also killing me in the process and the voice had taken advantage of that.

It had grown louder, to the point where I can feel as it speaks--as though it was right beside me.

The stones were the least of my problems at this point. I don't remember the last time I even thought of them.

They were nothing more but a distant memory compared to what's happening to me now.

I was dying.

This fact remained true.

My human body should have never accepted the change when Howard experimented on me with the Space Stone.

And yet, it did.

Even Thor could not believe a mortal like me was able to absorb an Infinity stone, let alone feel the other five.

It was an abomination. A darkness.

Abilities not known to mankind were given to me and it was used to do bad and good.

But people only see the power. They never see the person that had to wield it.

You see sometimes the things you're good at aren't a blessing. They're a curse.

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