Ella Stolen

19: Ella

ELLA

Wow. I honestly don't know what to think. The confusion is why I ran in the first place. But I wasn't careful enough and he caught me. It's faint, but I briefly remember Zach beat me and I was out cold for a couple days. But Zach apologized and told me the story of How I met him... Then I remembered. Zach's not so scary now that I know he's just rough around the edges. Honestly, I'm just amazed he didn't go crazy sooner. It shows that I've had an effect on him over the past couple years. If I was anyone else, I would be dead right now. After all that happened, Zach's playful teasing side came out and he took my clothes... Then... We had sex...

My head is a jumbled up pile of emotions and they are all fighting each other for first place. I don't know what to feel about him now, hell about anything. I was so scared and angry. But then he was sweet and was so guilty. Someone who didn't care wouldn't have been so guilty. The only reason I let him get so close after catching me was the memories. The whole story comes flooding back to me.

I was fourteen. I was running in the woods. I wanted to find somewhere to escape, somewhere safe that could be a get away when I need to be alone. That's when I saw the warehouse. It was perfect place for a getaway. Usually I find abandoned buildings more soothing than creepy. Call me weird, I know. All the doors were locked but I saw that tree in the courtyard and figured I could use the branches to climb back out.

There was just this crazy desire to see the Box so bad. I found the walls to the courtyard and looked for the roughest spot. The plaster had peeled enough to reveal the underlaying bricks and blocks. I climbed up, using the rough spots as grips, and made it to the top. I started to climb down and was about seven feet from the ground when I got stuck. The grip I planned on using was just out of reach.

Someone called to me telling me to reach to the left and, not knowing someone else was here, it scared the living shit out of me. In my state of shock, I let go of my handhold. I could feel the air rush past me as I fell towards the ground. I waited for the impact on the hard clay ground. That landing never came, though. Strong arms wrapped around me, bridal style, saving me from my fall. Once I recovered from the shock, my hero set me down. I turned around only to be met by the deep chocolate brown eyes of a very hot, tall, guy. He was strong and built with tan skin and dark hair in a buzz cut. Tattoos scrolled up his arms and across his chest. That was my weakness right there...

He looked between seventeen and eighteen. I was excited to be talking to this guy but kinda embarrassed at the same time. We both were surprised that we weren't alone in finding this place. We talked a little and explored the rest of the building together. I learned that his name was Zach. My nerves continued mostly because he was a junior and I was a freshman. He was turning eighteen in a couple months. We made an agreement that we both could come back as long as no one told or brought friends without the other knowing. An old mailbox served as communication between run ins. We both came back again and ran into each more and more. Soon we became friends and for once, I felt like someone understood what I was going through.

Zach had some of the same feelings about family problems except his were a lot worse. It helped me with perspective, there's always someone worse off than you. I loved how we didn't to talk to each other for pity, we talked for advice and help. It was three months later when he first kissed me. Zach and I were a lot more than friends. One thing lead to another and... Oh damn. Yeah we were way more than friends. No wonder Zach wanted me to remember.

So many new memories keep flowing in. Some about Zach, some about my family, some about how disturbed I really got to be... I wondered where my transformation began and it looks like I just got my answer. I was depressed and fucked up then, worse than I realized before now. The worst part was knowing that my shit wasn't all that bad yet I couldn't cope with it. I hated myself for not being more than happy, not being better. I shut myself in and cut out the world. That's when numbness took over my life. Nothing seemed to matter to me. I didn't feel anything anymore, just emptiness. That's when I started heading to hell.