I'll Stay Me

Chapter Twenty-Six

Luke's POV

I wake up and roll over to snuggle with Hank but he's not here. I panicked for a moment until I realized I happened last night. Fuck... he could be anywhere at this point. I get up and change before running downstairs, and finding Mama.
     "Where's Hank?" I ask her frantically.
"He left last night." She tells me.
      "Y'all do realize that boy has a history of suicide attempts right?" Dad says as he puts his breakfast plate in the sink.
"You're kidding right?" Mama asks, turning toward him.
"No, he's been trying to kill himself since he was 15." He replies.
"I have to go find him. Mama watch the babies?" I say. She nods her head and I run out the door. I get in my truck and speed out the driveway. As I start driving around I realize, I have no idea where he would've went. I pull over at a gas station and grab my phone and call him. He answers right away, which makes me so relieved.
        "Hank, you're okay." I say as he answers.
         "Why wouldn't I be? What even do you want?" Hank asks.
         "I want my fiancé. I've been worried sick since I woke up this morning." I tell him.
        "Last night you didn't wanna have a damn to do with me." He says.
         "Can you please come back to my house so we can talk it out, please?" I ask him.
        "Fine I'll be there in 15 minutes." He says hanging up. I drive back home and wait for him. I immediately stand up as I see a truck pull in the driveway. As Hank steps out, I run to him and hug him tightly. He groans as I hug him, once I realize I'm hurting his back I let go.
"Are you okay? Get undressed, I need to check every inch of you." I tell him. He kinda laughs.
"I'm fine. By the way, that's Kaleb. My buddy that lives around here." He says, pointing to the guy in the driver seat of the truck.
"Baby, come on." I say, leading him toward the house. "Were you drinking?" I ask, smelling of him.
"Yeah." He answers, sitting down on the porch swing. I sit beside him and intertwine our fingers.
"You know I love you , right baby?" I ask.
"Last night you hated me." He says, clearly hurt.
     "Last night, wasn't me. I think the hormones mixed with stress are making me act out. I don't mean to it just happens." I tell him.
      "I don't know if I can handle it though. I'm stressed about things and then having to be stressed about you it's just too much." He says looking down.
      "Hank, I didn't mean what I said. I love you, I want to wake up to you everyday for the rest of my life. I want us to have a big family together. I don't know where I would be if you weren't in my life." I tell him, looking him straight in the eyes. Hank suddenly kisses me. Before long I'm laid across the porch swing with Hank laying on top of me, making out. I feel his boner pressed up against my leg as he grabs my ass and continues making out with me.
    "Bedroom, now." He says, getting off of me. I run up to my room with his hand in mine. He lays me down on the bed and gets back on top of me then starts kissing my neck.
    "Lay down, Cowboy." I tell him, he lays on the bed and I get on top of him.
   We make love to one another in every way possible that won't hurt his back over the next few hours.
"I love you." He says, panting.
"I love you too." I tell him. I get up and go into the bathroom to take a shower. I smile as he follows me and steps in the shower behind me. We quickly shower, stopping to kiss each other every once in a while. We both get out, dry off, and get dressed, before heading down.
     "What do you wanna do the rest of the day?"Hank asks me.
       "I don't know, I think we should spend a day as a family. Maybe take the babies down to the lake and have a picnic, maybe swim." I tell him.
"I think that's a perfect idea." He says kissing my cheek.
"Why don't you get the babies ready to go, and I will get the food." I suggest.
"Sounds good." Hank says, heading back up stairs. I walk into the kitchen and make a couple sandwiches. While I'm making the second sandwich, Mama comes in with shopping bags. I don't say anything and continue packing up the food.
"Here." Mama says handing me a bag.
"What's in here?" I ask.
"Pregnancy tests, you might need them in a couple weeks." She says, walking over to the pantry putting away the groceries she bought.
        "Shit, sorry Mama. But that'd be great." I tell her, smiling at the idea. Hank soon comes down the stairs with the babies and their diaper bag. "Babe, you don't need to be carrying all that." I tell him as I take the diaper bag and Harper away from him. I sit the bag on the floor and watch as he sits down with Shelton.
"How's your back, sweetheart?" Mama asks as she rubs Hank's back.
"Fine." He says, looking down. I finish packing up the food then walk over and wrap my arms around Hank's neck.  He rests his head on my shoulder and smiles. I massage his shoulders and softly kiss his head a couple times.
      "You ready, baby?" I ask. He nods his head against my shoulder and gets up. I grab the keys to the side by side, and we head out the door. I drive us down to the lake, and we get out. Hank sits down and I hand him Harper, and grab the blankets and picnic basket. I put the basket down and lay the blankets down. I take Shelton from him and we sit on the blankets.
       "This is perfect." Hank says, smiling.
"Yes it is. Our little family is perfect." I smile as I lean up and kiss his cheek softly.
      As I eat, Hank puts the babies in their floats and gets in the lake with them. I watch as he plays with them and smile. He's such a good dad. 
   I finally finish eating and jump in the water beside Hank and the babies. I swim over to him and jump up in his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.
     "This hurts so bad but I love it so much." He says, looking into my eyes. I hug him tightly then jump down. I take Shelton out of his float and hold him, and spin him around a bit. It's amazing to see the babies smiling and giggling. I put Shelton back in his float after a few minutes. I then take Harper and do the same with her. The way she looks in my eyes makes my heart melt.
       "I promise to never let anyone hurt you, not any boyfriends, strangers and even girlfriends if you choose to have one." I tell her, locking eyes with her and kissing her forehead. I put Harper back in her float, and just smile.
"They both love you so much." Hank says, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"I've never loved anything more than you three in my life." I tell him. He smiles and kisses my cheek. I look into his eyes then we both look at the babies, silently just observing the beautiful children we made.
          "How many more do you want?" Hank asks, placing his hand on the small of my back.
"As many as you're willing to give me." I smile.
"Alright baby, I'm gonna go lay on the blanket, I don't think I can stand or swim any longer." He tells me.
          "Okay, we can leave when ever you want." I say giving him a quick kiss before he gets out. I move the babies closer together so they can interact. It's so amazing how they can interact in baby talk. They do this for a few minutes before they both start getting cranky. I grab them and go sit with Hank, so they can eat.
       "I think we should leave once the babies are done eating, that way they can take a nap." Hank says.
"That's sounds good to me." I say. I watch as Hank rubs my thigh while I feed the babies. I smile as Hank closes his eyes and slowly falls asleep.
Once the babies finish eating I gently lay them on the blanket and softly rub Hank's chest and stomach to wake him up. He quickly wakes up and looks up at me.
     "You ready to go?" I ask, standing up. He nods and slowly gets up. I go sit in the side by side as Hank folds up the blankets then gets in. I give him the babies then we begin our way home.
     We walk into the house and I go upstairs to put Harper and Shelton down for their nap. Once I get back downstairs I see Hank leaned against the bar trying to eat a sandwich. I lean against the wall, so that I don't interrupt him. I smile as he finally gets a bite of the sandwich. That's the first thing he's eaten except soft foods like mashed potatoes and jello. I wait until he is almost done before walking over and wrapping my arm around his shoulders.
"I'm so proud of you!" I tell Hank smiling.
"I think once I have my back surgery, I should be able to start making music again." He tells me.
"Baby, that's amazing. I think I'm gonna wait a few years before I pursue music. I want the babies to be older and hopefully have a brother or sister before I do anything." I say, hugging him.
     "You do what ever you think is the best for you and them." He says. 
        "Why don't we go start looking for places to get married at?" I suggest rubbing his back.
      " Well do you want to get married on the beach or in the mountains?" He asks. I think for a moment then get an idea.
"Maybe we could... never mind." I start to suggest something then stop myself.
"No tell me. I want to hear every idea you have." He tells me taking my hands. I look deeply into his eyes then smile.
"It's just... I've seen some pictures of the mountain you fell off of, it's beautiful Hank. And there's an amazing lake at the bottom. Maybe we could get married in the snow there. It might be a little too soon for you to go back though baby." I tell him my idea. I watch his face to hopefully see what he is thinking, but I can't tell. He is just kind of staring at me.
It feels like forever before he finally says something.
       "I'll think about it, but I don't know if I want there to be snow. I don't want it to be too cold out to where it's miserable for the guests." He tells me, making a good point about the snow.
      "Do you have any ideas?" I ask him.
    "Maybe at a farm that has a view of the mountains in the background." He says.
"That sounds nice, but I don't know if it sounds perfect. What do you think about getting married during the summer in Alaska?" I ask Hank, grabbing a glass of water.
    "That's a lot of money to get everyone there and get them somewhere to stay. If that's what you really want I'll figure it out though, baby." He tells me, looking at me. I wasn't even thinking about the money. I get him to sit beside me and hold his hand.
    "Baby, no matter where we get married I'll be happy, but I do want a really amazing wedding." I tell him. He gives me a soft smile and nods.
"I know baby. You'll get one, I promise." He tells me, running his fingers through my hair.
"What do you think about having our wedding on Christmas or New Years? It would be magical, maybe rent out a farm house that our family can stay in to celebrate." I ask suggest to him, smiling.
      "That probably wouldn't be as costly. It probably would be magical." He says.
     "The decorations would be simple to do. But I think if we got married on Christmas I would wanna go somewhere tropical for our honeymoon."  I say grabbing his hand.
"Hmmm, that sounds doable." He smiles. I sit down in his lap and lay my head on his shoulder.
"Our wedding is gonna be so perfect." I squeal. He nods and rubs my thigh. I hug him tightly and smile.
"I think I'm gonna schedule my surgery for the end of next month baby. That way we'll be in our house in Montana and I won't have to fly back to Georgia right after surgery." He tells me.
"That's another 5 weeks that you're gonna be in excruciating pain." I tell him, not wanting him to suffer through that. "But I see your point."
"I'll be alright." He assures me.
"Okay, baby." I say, kissing his cheek.
"So, do you want to have the wedding in Georgia or Montana or where?" He asks.
      "How about the Foxhall Resort, here in Georgia?" I ask him.
      "I think that would be a beautiful place to get married on Christmas. The cost of getting everyone there wouldn't be as much as flying out to Montana." He says.
       "Are you gonna be healed enough by Christmas this year or should we plan it for next year?" I ask him, putting my hand over his.
"I think I should be, but I wanna wait until next year. I wanna make sure I'm healed all the way and I think it would be good for you to see how your hormones are gonna affect you." He says, rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand. I nod.
    "Yeah, by then your speech will be a lot better and you should be able to eat. Plus your back should be a lot better." I agree.
     "Yeah, maybe we'll have another baby by then too." He grins. He kisses the top of my head.
      "I hope so." I smile at the idea.
      After a few minutes of silently thinking about our future, Hank gets up and walks into the living room and lays on the couch. I sit at his head and let him lay his head in my lap.
      "So I've been thinking a lot about your gender thing and your future in music..." Hank says.
       "And?" I ask, looking down at him.
       "Depending on how much you turn out looking like a female after your hormones straighten out, you could just tell people you're female and not even have to mention you're intersex. And that works if you end up transitioning to fully female or not." He explains.
"There also wouldn't be so much hate with the both of us being gay, if you wanna even call it that. But my voice isn't gonna become any higher with the hormones so I'll have to work on making my voice higher." I tell him smiling.
"You just have a lot to think about, baby. Whatever you decide I'll be there with you through it all the way. I'll always love you." He says, smiling. I blend my head down and give him a kiss.
"I love you forever and ever." I tell him.