What If Chandler Bing Didn't Exist...? [F.R.I.E.N.D.S]

Chapter Four: What The Hell?!

'For your information, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing' - Monica Geller, The One Where The Stripper Cries

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I woke up the next morning with a sense of tingle in my body. I shook it away as I turned to the side to sit on the bedside. I groaned as I rubbed my eyes, my hair aloof, as I struggled to keep my eyes open. I stretched my arms and yawned and realised that I was still in my work clothes and groaned again. The fight. The hotel. Monica. It all sank back into me now. But it's all okay now, cause I'm going to see Monica and tell her I'm sorry. And then we’ll have this big kiss and we’ll be back together – a happy couple. Until the next fight comes along… Eh, we’ll deal with that when we’re up to it.

I grabbed the room key that Barbara gave me yesterday and walked out the door. “Goodbye hotel room, and say hello to my sweet, sweet apartment.” I sniggered and I threw the key and caught it, excited that I don’t have to sleep in a stranger’s room.

I walked to the desk where I checked in last night to see Barbara smiling at me.

“Did you have a good sleep, Mr. Bing?”

“Yes, though I felt a little tingly this morning.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Must’ve just been me. And you can just call me Chandler if you want.” I saw her eyes glint in the light, just like last night. “Say, uh, did you put diamonds in your eyes?” I smirked.

She chuckled. “So you’re always like this?”

“Well, I’m afraid so…” I replied, thinking back to all the times - a lot - when I have cracked up a joke. “Anyway, here’s the key from yesterday.” I put the key on the table and slid it across to her.

“Well actually… you can keep that, you never know what can happen…”

“You mean I can just keep this and just come here anytime I want..?” I was a little confused. I mean what about the other guests? Maybe they received a lot money from the guy before that was "special" and just stopped caring. She nodded as I took the key back hesitantly. "Alright then.." Did she know I was going to come back to this place? Nah, can't be.. "Time to get back to the wife, probably missing me right now." I grinned at myself.

"Oh, yes, you go do that." She had a peculiar smile which made me still curious, but I just replied with a forced smile that I hope she didn't notice.

I started to walk to my car, but steadily, thinking that something was going to happen. It was still wet from the rain with those water droplets everywhere. I opened my car door and hopped in. I started the engine and the car was running smoothly. Hm, nothing wrong over here.. I drived back home still wondering why Barbara was looking at me like that. Was she hitting on me? She knew I was married and plus, she was rather old.. well, you could say middle-aged. Probably 20 years older than me. I shook that thought away and I just thought that I was over-reacting and that she was being a nice hotel person. Definitely not more than that. 

As I reached the apartment building, memories flooded in my head and the fight hit me like a grenade. Questions started popping into my head that I never thought of unti this very moment like: Will Monica forgive me? Will she still be angry? Will she kill me? Like actually kill me, not like Ross' kicking ass thing. You know how hard she can hit me gently?? Oh god, I really hope she doesn't punch me. One time she did it, I had a bruise for like a whole month! Anyway, I walked into the building, and saw the familiar stairs and clinbed up them. Just before I reached the apartment door 20, I took a deep breath in and just hoped for the best.

***

I reached out for the door handle and clutched it, taking a pause and another deep breath in and out. I hesitated but then I thought 'now or never' and just opened the door quickly. Only I couldn't, because the chain was locking it. 

"Mon! I think the door's stuck!" I yelled, hoping that she will unlock it and wishing that she won't get mad. I heard her voice ring through my ears.

"Who is it?"

"It's the pizza delivery guy!" I joked.

"Sorry, we didn't order any pizza.." I could hear her mutter something about 'taking the pizza anyway' and then finally opened the door. When I saw her, my mouth opened wide enough to see the back of my mouth.

I said the first thing that entered my mind. "Monica, why are you so fa-a-a," I  stopped myself when I heard the words coming out. "How many things did you eat last night?" Monica was so overweight, I couldn't believe my eyes! She looked exactly what she looked like in high school except older.

She had a confused look on her face when she saw that I wasn't holding anything and I could also tell she was a bit offended when I said that.

"I-I'm sorry, do I know you?"

At first I thought she was joking, so I just went along with it. "It's Chandler Bing, your sexy husband," I tried doing my sexy face but she looked shaken up so I guess it didn't work. "And seriously, what happened?" Her face was still the same. Confused and shocked at the same time.

"I have no idea who you are and why would I be your wife?"

I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable now. "Okay, look, we need to talk." I walked in and grabbed her wrist and we made our way to the sofa. I felt like I was dragging her, and sure enough, I was. Wow, either I turned to be really strong, or that Monica has gone really weak. I stopped walking and turned to her. I held both her hands and looked into her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, I was just being a jerk.. if you want me to help around more, I will." I solemny told her. But then that didn't last long. "And what happened to this?" I pointed at her body in the nicest way possible, adding a bit of joke into it.

"Okay, now I really don't know what you're talking about," she let her arms down from my hands.

"Monica, this is serious, why are you acting like this?"

She turned it back on me. "Why are you acting like this? I don't even know you and you just came into my apartment and started holding my hands. Don't you know that that is weird?" She raised an eyebrow as I stood there aghast. Was she being serious? I have never seen her more puzzled in her life.

"You mean you have no idea who I am?"

"Not a clue!" was her simple remark.

I stood there, mouth agape, eyes widened, staring at her. What the hell happened?!

~~~

Thanks for reading guys! This is the part where it's supposed to get suspenseful as well as mysterious! Another chapter done, hope you guys liked it! Maybe Monica's playing a joke? If it is real, how do you think Chandler will get out of this mess? And you know why Monica was so called "f-a-a-a-" don't you? If you don't you'll find out the answer soon in these upcoming chapters.

Please COMMENT/VOTE/FOLLOW! Please do not be shy and all comments and votes are appreciated! Especially follows! Update shouldn't be too long. Thanks for reading once again!