What If Chandler Bing Didn't Exist...? [F.R.I.E.N.D.S]

Chapter Nineteen: First Date [Wait... Again?]

'No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.' - Joey Tribbiani, The One With Ross' Tan

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"Alright, so does this look okay?" Joey was adjusting my tie, looking at it as if it was as complex as a maths problem.

I looked in the mirror widened my eyes not exactly liking what I saw. "So Ross isn't here, huh?" I started to adjust the tie myself, fixing it up. "Still angry or confused about what happened with me yesterday, I bet."

"Oh yeah," Joey agreed, "you should've seen the look on his face."

I swivelled to be face to face with him. "I did. I was kinda there…"

Joey gave a nervous chuckle. "Oh yeah.. What are the chances?"

I gave him a thinking face, looking at the ground. "Um.. I don't know…" And then, after a while, my eyes were wide open straight into his eyes again. "Maybe about 100%?" I swear, my sarcasm is just way too high for him.

Joey just gave me a returned nod, finally understanding. "So, uh, what time do you have to be there?"

"Around 7:30, I guess." I had called her on the phone just before in the afternoon and her voice sounded very happily as she agreed.

"Woah, dude! It's like 7:20, you're gonna be late!"

Okay, so I get why he's stressed and stuff - wait.. I actually don't know why he's freaking out like this. "Jo, it's literally right across, the hall. You really think that it's gonna take more than a minute for me to walk there?"

Joey moved his mouth cautiously. "Um. Do you really want me to answer that?"

I knew that the answer was gonna be really harsh and I didn't want to start a fight, so I just replied with a simple, casual, "No."

I gave another soft tug so that my suit would not be creased from the back and look much more neater. I need to make a good first impression. Monica doesn't, she's perfect the way she is and I'll take her whatever she's wearing, even if she's not wearing anything. Wait, let me take that back, especially when she's not wearing anything… Get it? No? Alright, never mind…

Anyways, I was all ready to go, with my suit and tie, hopefully looking as sexier than ever, but reminding myself not to do my "sexy smile". I think she was a little freaked out with that, but I was her husband, so she didn't mind, but now I'm a complete stranger, so she'll just run away…

"Alright, so this looks fine right?"

Joey took another look up and down and nodded. For a second, I was really wondering if  he was actually going to be ask me 'how I was doing'. "Yep, looks great."

I fixed up my hair making it spike up just by a little, just like my hair on our wedding day. I wiped off my shoulders, just double checking that there wasn't any dust on them.

"You're gonna be fine.. Just do what I do."

He moved me to sit on the yellow couch. The couch with the many memories. "Are you sure we're not going to be late because of this?"

"No, no, there's just a couple of steps on how to do this. 6 to be exact." Woah, getting all mathematical here. "This is what I do on dates, so first, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh." Wait, that's only 3 steps.. I guess that's Joey for you. "Alright? So go get 'er…" He gave me a wink and a click with his mouth and some sort of gun action towards me.  Yeah, so I might not be doing those things…