UNLAWFUL 🍒

☁️ 1

"Start again."

A harsh voice came from the shadows, and the little boy with blonde hair looked at the tearstained paper. With a shaking voice, he started from the top.

"I will never disobey my orders from those smarter. I will never do anything without permission. I will not speak without reason nor without permission. I will not argue." The list went on and on as the boy struggled his way down. As he finished, he licked his chapped lips and looked down at his hands. "Very good, Daniel." The voice spoke again and he felt a strong hand- a feeling Daniel knew all too well- clasp down on his shoulder. Daniel clenched as his eyes shut in pain and his face pulled a faint grimace. "T-thank you, Father," he whispered.

His Father stood silent, his hand still tightly grasped on Daniel's shoulder. Daniel worried he would determine it wasn't enough, that he had to be cleansed again. "Pain purifies", as his Father always mutters. "Dismissed." The hand left Daniel's shoulder and he nearly fell out of his seat to put distance between him and the older male. He grabbed the papers on the table, bowed before him and quickly ran up the stairs. He dove into the bathroom and locked the door.

Daniel was hyperventilating, something he did often after the late night sessions with his Father. He threw the papers down on the toilet lid and stepped on the small stool, facing the mirror. He looked up and examined his face. His usual twinkling blue eyes were dull, blotchy and red. He looked gross with transparent snot dribbling down his face, his mouth pulled to a pout. He looked down at his dry, clammy hands and turned on the tap. Cold water gushed out and filled up the makeshift bowl he made with his hands.

He bent down, washing his face and cooling himself down. Daniel was lucky tonight; Father didn't feel like punishing him for getting his Commandments wrong, like he did so many other nights. Daniel could still remember his Father beating him until he was blue all over, so much so that he couldn't go to school for a week after. It was awful.. so much screaming and crying.

Daniel turned off the tap and stepped down from the sink. His mother always used to get mad when he stayed up too late, and it was currently midnight, maybe even later. He grabbed the papers forgotten on the lid with damp hands, wetting the papers more and slowly unlocked the bathroom. He waited for any noises, and when he heard nothing, he scampered down to his terribly small bedroom and laid down on his bare mattress with a thin blanket covering his small body. Daniel stuffed the papers under his pillow and faced away from the door.

"Stand up straight!" Father yelled. Daniel was trembling before him. He straightened his back and placed his feet together, but his head was hung low. "Look at me when I'm talking to you," He hissed at him. Daniel slowly looked up to meet Father's angry eyes. There were thunderstorms swirling behind his eyes, he could see the thunder crash and the lightning strike. The different shades of blue fought against each other and it was all a swirling mess of hatred and disappointment. It scared Daniel to even look at them for long periods of time, and for his Father to be so close. "Do you not care?! You ungrateful bastard." His Father rambled on and Daniel couldn't keep up. His words were sharp and piercing, causing Daniel to flinch away. He was a coward, unfit to be half of the boy his Father wanted. His Father deserved better.

Suddenly, a hand shot out and hit Daniel in his face, on his cheek. He cried out and instinctively protected his face from more attacks. His Father didn't like this, Daniel was too late in realizing his mistake. He ripped Daniel's arm and yanked it down so hard and quick it could have dislodged it. Daniel cried out again as his hand flew to his shoulder. His own eyes were glossy with tears and his cheek grew red, ugly and irritated against his pale skin.

"You failed to memorize your Commandments, your balant disrespect! You just never learn, Daniel, do you?!" Father yelled at him, causing Daniel to sob harder. Father straightened himself up and pulled Daniel up the stairs and into the bathroom. His eyes widened and he started thrashing. "Father, I'm sorry! Please, please don't!" He cried and tried to dig his heels into the wooden floorboards to no luck. Father kept muttering and growling under his breath. He threw open the bathroom door and turned on the harsh white light. He let go of Daniel, pushing him into the wall before turning to the tub. He turned it on and plugged the bathroom. Father angrily turned around, his face red, his blue eyes seemed to turn red from the anger.

"What was the third Commandment?" His face was right in front of Daniel's. An act of mercy. His mind ran and millions of thoughts rushed through his head; nothing useful. He started crying harder, realizing he can't remember. Maybe he was a useless child. A greedy child. "I-I don't know! Father, I can't.. I can't remember!" He cried, he was worthless under pressure. His Father growled and gripped Daniel's pearly white shirt and turned around, throwing him harshly in the tub. Daniel banged his head into the wall and briefly lost all motor control. He lay there, crumpled in a filling tub and felt the water go past his nose, then his ears. Finally, after a few seconds, he tried to push himself up.

He couldn't. Somebody was holding him down, pushing him into the tub floor. His eyes hurt from the water and he was slowly running out of air in his lungs. He could feel it. Daniel panicked and began thrashing around, trying to throw his attacker off. He tried again and again, and slowly got tired; but he couldn't stop. He was going to die, and Father would be disappointed that his child couldn't find a way out of a bathtub. "Pain purifies. You are an unclean, unlawful child," Father's voice was dulled and muffled, but Daniel could hear him. "You're a quitter." He huffed, stabbing Daniel in his heart over and over again. He stopped for a few seconds before struggling again. He gulped down mouthfuls of water and he swore he couldn't breathe anymore.

Then, he was out of the water, sputtering and coughing. Daniel hurriedly blinked the water away and coughed harder. "Third Commandment, Daniel, what is it?" Father asked again. Daniel desperately tried to answer between coughs and sputters but he failed. Father growled again before pushing him down into the water again. His mouth was open and he immediately swallowed more and more water. He banged his little fists against the tub floor and walls, trying to free himself and be able to breathe again.

He was close to passing out before his father pulled him out again. He was screaming now. "Third Commandment!"

"I will not speak without reason nor permission!" Daniel screamed back, he felt the water gurgle and he coughed violently again, seeing drops of blood. He repeated again, louder, and tried to regain his breath. His Father nodded and pulled him out, throwing him down on the tile floor. "You better remember them, Daniel." Father used his name as an insult; like it pained him to even register how pathetic and worthless his son was. Daniel was reduced to a fetus position on the ground, crying harder. He was shievering, and there were a few drops of blood on the ground near his mouth.

Father seethed and spit on him before leaving the room. He slammed the door shut, causing Daniel to jump and cry harder.