hello there,
i just want to clarify some things from you. i don't know if i have any mental illness or what, but i just don't feel quite right this past weeks. i don't really know how it started but i sort of puzzled some things out for some theories.
it all started when i saw you taking photos for an event. you were with your siblings, they sat at other chairs as i continued taking various angles. i was alright at the time.
you gave an impression that made me look over to you a couple of times. but nothing after that. i saw you the other day again. your mischievous look made me feel intrigued and that small lift on your lips made me smile, a bit. i wondered why i reacted like that.
why am i smiling.
it seemed bizarre and weird. but anyways, i shrugged my head and didn't look back at you. it was a few minutes after the event ended, we all went our separate ways with a finishing touch of hugs and kisses. you were leaving. i curiously looked as to where you were. which was, again, weird.
i don't even know why am i like this. as i gave up looking for you, i started walking, but at the second I started to put my first step in, we both passed by each other.
at that moment, my heart stopped. everything seemed to stop. the electric fans stopped producing air, the familiar noise of feet tapping on the floor was gone, the chattering turned into silence and the mere sound of my breath is the only thing i heard. they all froze. except for us.
i held my breath and bit my lip. my cheeks felt hot and as i went inside the restroom, it was bright red. i panicked. i know i wasn't allergic to something else other than peanuts or whatsoever but passing you by made so much of an reaction. last night, i couldn't stop myself thinking about you.
i tried drinking sleeping pills, but what's weird that the pills actually worked, but my eyes wanted to stay awake.
you arose in my head every now and then. the corners of my lips started to rise and everything didn't feel quite right. i definitely didn't drink that much caffeine that day, and i never had problems falling in to a good nights sleep. my head kept replaying the scene where we passed by each other, which is bizarre. i kept smiling. and that is all i basically did.
at first thought, i thought i had an allergic reaction or something, because i always had redness wherever my eyes land unto you and my heart starts beating rapidly which isn't normal.
but then, when i consulted one of my doctor friends, told them about the redness, the heart reaction, an insomnia reaction and others. they laughed. i wondered why. i couldn't stop but feel insulted by them but i tried to get along.
they said that it wasn't sickness or an allergic reaction. i got incredibly confused.
i studied medicine for two years and gave up, but i'm a thousand percent sure that this thing has no such thing as a medicine for that. i had researched some details and every single website said the same. no medicine.
it is incurable. but what's weird is that a lot of people are actually feeling the same way i am feeling. and they're not even bothering to find a cure for it. doctors said that i was in love. can you believe that? i was in love?
no way! i know i'm not. maybe there's just a reaction. i graduated as a cum laude and with a series of honors, with all my respect, i am pretty dang sure i am a 1000% right on this. i saw you again, you greeted me a happy birthday. you smiled. i smiled back. my cheeks heated. i held my breath again and exhaled.
this isn't an allergic reaction. i began to mumble.
i kept thinking about you every now and then. some of my friends noticed that i wasn't myself the other days. i was happier. i didn't know if it would be good news or no. i don't even know if i'm crazy or not. i told her about my weird situation and she smiles heavily. she hugs me and says "finally"
"you're in love" she says
i got confused. like really confused. how am i going to be in love if i have this allergic reaction thing to you?
i really don't get it.
i explained it some more to my friend and she said that it's symptoms of being in love.
is being in love sickness or no? i remember i asked her the same question. if not, what's all of the redness about? isn't that a violent reaction?
she says that it comes with emotions
like what i'm feeling.
but i'm still convinced that i was sick or i have mental illness because of all the mixed emotions i feel whenever i see you.
as a consultant of yours, i wish you would answer my questions i have been dealing with for a few weeks now
am i in love with you or am i sick?
