Sleepless Nights

CHAPTER 4

This happened a few months back, I was away from my family. I needed a break from everything that happened. I didn't want to have the same surrounding in my room. I wanted to erase them off my mind. There was torturing me as soon as I resolve the issue. There was once, I didn't know why .. I cried so much when everything was fine. I didn't have any issues. I had a great time the whole day. As soon as I get myself on the bed, scrolling down my social media I started crying.

I had no idea why I broke down. It was hard for me, I couldn't understand why I was crying. My heart started to sink. I felt like I have lost something and something was just not right. Can I say I was depressed? It felt like that. I just felt like I was not worthy, my existence doesn't matter to anyone. I started to overthink.

Well at that point of time, I wouldn't say overthink but just normal thinking. I would say it went on for hours and I didn't realize I slept. Wondering why I was feeling so down. I decided to reflect. That very week, I got confronted by my close friend whom I didn't expect. She was very close to me. I supported her when everyone told me not to. When my friends told me she is not a good person I didn't believe. She did break my trust a few times. Came about my life, messing with my loves one yet I forgave her. I threw my ego and wanted to save the relationship. Yes, I admit I wasn't as depressed as I used to. I was alone, no one was by my side.

Having no one, literally no one near me to talk to me. I probably a shoulder to cry on but no one was there. Stanley was out of town, I didn't want to bother him with my issues. I didn't want to let my best friend know because, if I were to tell, I will remind myself how it all happened. I was all alone. What do you expect me to feel like?