Why am I always able to tolerate everything issue that comes to me? Where do I find the strength? I feel like I'm seeing shadows I don't want to see. My fears are haunting me daily . I can't sleep properly and almost every fucking dreams don't have any happy scene. I don't even remember them. This insomnia is fucking me up. I tried my very best to be happy during my daylight. But it's not happening, this is life. Reality. I can't expect to be happy always but the least I expect is to have a good night rest.
I'm losing my mind, I can never fix whats broken. .No one can understand my pain. I pray always and I won't ever give up my relationship with God at all cost. I am ten times more broken when I'm awake at night. I am trying to pick myself piece by piece knowing I'm shattered.
I want to feel free for once. Just once and for all, I want to get rid of all this torture. How long more can I feel this way? I love being me but I am losing myself already and I don't have to forget the real me. Every time I remind myself, '' Alexis, you are not alone and you will get over this. '' But it doesn't really get into my head no matter how many times I say them to myself. Well because no one will ever remind me that pain will eventually go away. I depend on myself to be happy and I should get over this myself. I am really in a mess with my own mind. I feel so tied up and I am honestly at the edge of giving up. Although I want to give up, at the time I don't want this to win over me. I can do it. Hopefully.
Maybe I am a loser, I am embarrassed by myself. I am useless and I failed at everything and society and people hate me. No matter how much I try to insult myself or what people label me, God will never label me ever. I will keep going and I am always hoping every day I can feel better than the previous day. Every day is a new day, new chances are given as soon as you give up.
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Sleepless Nights
RandomAlexis Jackson was a young , lively and confident girl during the daylight , yet she only knew how broken , lost and depressed she was at night. Knowing , it was reality she couldnt wake up feeling normal but all she could hope was to end the night...
