I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

Beginning

~HERMIONE'S P.O.V.~

As I tenderly held Ron's hand, I gazed into his eyes while the train rattled on. But, when I looked into his eyes, I felt different. Something was wrong. So many times before, I had looked into his eyes and seen warmth and love. But this time, I was repulsed. I could only see his dumb, blue eyes.
"I need to get some air," I said as I slid open the door of the prefects' compartment.
As soon as I stepped outside, I let loose a huge fart. "Ahhhh," I sighed in relief. I looked around to see if anyone was watching, but there was no one around to hear my release of gas. Still, I was embarrassed. What would they think, a prefect tooting?
I knew my moment of serenity was over. Ronald would surely follow me. And now, that wasn't what I needed.
My gaze slowly shifted over to a flicker of black hair across the train. "Harry?" My heart fluttered so fast I thought I was going into cardiac arrest.
Suddenly, the famous Harry Potter was in front of my face, breathing my air.
"Hey, Hermione," he greeted me nonchalantly. Oh, when he said those words, I knew I loved him just as much as I loved books and the smell of Ron's hair.
"Are you done with your prefect stuff?"
"Yep! Let me get Ron and we can go to our regular compartment!" But I knew I didn't mean those words. I knew I didn't want Ronald Weasley, my boyfriend and greatest source of annoyance, to be there. I retrieved him anyway, though, because Harry wanted him. Oh, the sacrifices I have to make.

We finally arrived at Hogwarts, and I immediately split with Harry. I claimed I had gotten separated from Ron in the jumble of people, but really, I just didn't want to go up to the castle with him. 
Eventually, the Weasley squirmed his way back to us while we were having a dignified discussion about the different types of lettuce.
"Well Harry, you see, there's romai-" I suddenly stopped as I felt a pair of eyes staring at me.
"No, go on, I want to know!" Ron panted as he caught up with Harry.
"Hey Ron, my closest bro! How're you doing, dude?" Harry, despite being my true love, was starting to really get on my nerves.
"Well, Harry, I like kale!" I sighed, quite agitated with this idiot. "Ron, kale isn't lettuce!" I knew this was going to be a long night. Angrily, I stopped and stomped off. When will that boy ever learn?

As evening turned into night, the sorting ceremony and dinner came to an end and we crawled up to our dormitories for a good night's sleep.
"Well, Harry, I guess this will be the last time I see you today..." I lamented to my sweet, oil-slick-haired, would-be-lover-if-it-weren't-for-Ron friend.
"OOOOOOOOOOOKAY. Goodnight to you too, sweetie!" Once again, Ron had budged himself into a conversation he wasn't invited to.
I said my goodbyes, and thought about how I wouldn't be able to survive this year if it went on like this. I'd have to let Ron go, no matter how painful it would be for him. But, something crept into my mind that may be a plothole if the authors aren't careful enough.
How would I get Ginny away from Harry so I could be with him?