I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

Apologies

A/N: Man, wasn't that last chapter good? You should comment bruh. Comment if you hated it. Feed our want for attention. Okay goodbye

~Harry's P.O.V.~

After the days' classes, I walked into the common room to see Ginny sitting on a couch. Her gorgeous red hair was flowing down her back, and she looked like a piece of the sun. So hot it was hard to look at.
"Hey," I tried to start a conversation with her and she looked up at me.
"Hey, I'm sorry for overreacting..." Her big eyes looked like when you forget to flush the toilet, but in a hot way. "I'm sorry Hermione thinks I look better than Brad Pitt." Ginny took a moment to collect herself after I made the perfect comparison. "I think we can take a break from our break, don't you?" I knew my answer, but I paused for suspense, as a true artesian does. "Of course, my love, of course." And then we high-fived, which solidified the Renaissance of our relationship.

~Hermione's P.O.V.~

Once again, I was dating Ronald Bilius Weasley. I couldn't say I was proud, in fact, I was quite repulsed. Over the weeks, my love for Harry only grew, like a fungus in your drain you're not ready to deal with. Ron was always just right behind me, breathing loudly in my ear, making noises that sounded like he was smelling me. I knew it had only been three weeks since we had put more effort, if any, into our relationship, but I was ready for a change.
"Ron," I said one evening as we walked through the whomping willow. 
"Yes?" He replied, eyeing the pickle in my hand. Sighing, I gave it to him
"Ron, I owe you an apology."
He gazed at me quizzically as the pickle juices dripped down his chin.
I breathed deeply through my nose, allowing the nostrils to flare. "I'm sorry that you are a disgusting human being, and that I am so very repulsed by you that even my bowel movements look more appealing to me than you."
Ron put a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you. I accept your apology."
"But we have to break up."
It was as if someone had slapped him in the face.

~Harry's POV~

Ginny and I were having a great time making out... the sloppy handwriting on the first years homework we were grading. Soon, that enjoyment turned into hysterics, and soon we were laughing so hard that I peed my pants a little. But no one needed to know that.
Ron came in holding half a pickle in his hand and a moist sob on his face.
"What's wrong, bro?" I asked, subtly wiping up the small puddle of urine that had collected under me.
"But buh and Hermione uh uh buh and pickle and ehhhhh," he sobbed.
"What." Said Ginny.
"HERMIONE BROKE UP WITH ME!"
"Oh. Ok, well, if it's not that bad..." I said.
Ron gurgled.
Even though I felt a small, insignificant amount of sympathy, I couldn't help feeling something else that I was sure wasn't from the burrito I had that afternoon. Although I was feeling that too.

A/N: Make sure to leave some comments. This time it doesn't matter if you love or hate it. Give your thought and opinions. Be brutally honest. Just feed our need for attention.