I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

Fights

~HARRY'S P.O.V.~

"Hey, Harry, can I talk to you?"
Ginny's voice was light and delicate as her voice carried across the common room.
"Yeah sure, babe-aroony, what's up?" My concern lasted only for a minute because I didn't care. "Ummm... Well, first off, don't call me babe-aroony. Second, we need to talk about Hermione." I blinked slowly. Because I need to blink and stuff. "Who's Hermione?" Ginny was getting more and more irritated from me by the minute.
"Harry, you know who Hermione is."
"Hmm... Don't think I do!"
"Harry, stop!"
"Stop what?"
"Harry, I'm trying to have a conversation with you! Listen to me!" I decided I should probably listen to her. "Harry, Hermione obviously has a thing for you. I need you to tell me that you won't accept if she asks you out." I thought this offer over, and thought it sounded reasonable. "Okay Ginny, I won't if she DOES. But she doesn't have a thing for me. I think you're just mad that some other girl than you thinks I'm attractive!" Ginny looked angry and like she was about to yell. In fact, she did! "Harry, I'm not mad about that! I just know you're impulsive and make bad decisions sometimes!" My mouth was about to open in shock. "I do not!" I yelled as I smashed my ink bottle into the ground. "I'll pick that up later. Ginny, I think we need to take a break!" Ginny looked more calm. "I think we do. I'll be in my room..." She walked towards her dorm before I stopped her. "Can you get me a muffin when you go down for breakfast? I have to go to the bathroom." Ginny nodded and continued going up the stairs. Suddenly, a wisp of Hermione's brown hair, greasy on the down low, appeared in front of me.
"Hey, sorry I was acting irrational yesterday. I had a cold, or something. Anyway, wanna go down for breakfast?" Hermione, for some odd reason, was acting normal today.
"Well, I was going to go to the bathroom, but I can hold it.  Let's go, 'Mione."

    We headed down to the great hall, her hand not-so-slowly slipping into mine. I didn't pull away, and before we knew it we were holding hands. I started giggling. Her hand felt sweaty, but I didn't want to be rude, so I didn't let go.
Ron was there, naturally stuffing his face. "Oi!" He called when he saw us. I ignored him. After all, if you ignore it long enough, it'll go away. Like an annoying dog or a bee. I wanted to say hi to him, but Hermione told me to shut up and let him think we can't hear him. Wow. What a savage.
We sat at the opposite end of the table from Ron. He looked really sad, but I just imagined him kissing the Quidditch cup, and any sympathy I had for him vanished.

    After breakfast, Ron caught up to us as we were making our way to our class. Hermione made this half sigh, half grunt noise that might have been attractive if I wasn't so focused on myself. But of course, that's totally out of the question!
"What do you want, creep- uh, oh, erm, I mean Ron?" Hermione asked, obviously disgusted.
"Um, well, how come you lot dumped me back there?" Ron asked, his stupidness leaking all over his face.
"I wish- I mean, what ever do you mean, Ronnie?" Hermione said, aghast. I was just a third wheel in this conversation, but I wouldn't be for long! After all, Harry Potter + attention = Harry Potter. "So, you guys gonna break up or something?"
'on looked like he was pondering as hard as he could, which was an improvement for him as to my knowledge he ronly had 3 brain cells, give or take. "No, Harry, why would y0u say that? I'm actually trying to improve our relationship!" Hermione spoke out- FINALLY! Hermione turned to Ron and said, "Look, Ronnie-Wonnie, I want our fight to be over! I think we should take this relationship for the better." Deep inside, I felt different then I ever had before. I had never felt this feeling before. Later though, much later, in the boys' bathroom, I learned it was gas. Sick of listening to them, I wandered off to potions and heard Ron say behind me, "Wow, Hermione, you're great!" to which she responded with "I I know." I was so confused. Why did Hermione hold my hand and then say she still wants a relationship with Ron? Man, everyone besides me is so confusing.