I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

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~Harry's P.O.V.~

    When I woke up that morning, I woke up with a thought I had every morning. I am awesome. But that day, it was true. I was going to sneakily date Hermione BEHIND Ginny's back, and nobody had to know. NOBODY. So, with my plan decided, I sauntered down to breakfast.
    Once I arrived at the Gryffindor table, I stared at Hermione to see if she got the hint. The hint... of LOVE. But, she didn't seem to understand, and kept asking if she had something on her forehead. I said no, and each time she eyed me suspiciously.
    So, our early-morning meal came to an end, and Hermione stopped me on our way to charms.
"Harry, what is your deal?"
I gave her a wink.
"Listen, Hermione, you'll understand later." She looked flushed, not like a toilet, well, I mean, kind of like a toilet, and ran away before I could give her another one-eyed blink.

    After Professor Flitwick gave us our TOTALLY BORING assignment, I realized I finally got into the groove of school, which involved doing nothing and copying off Hermione. This time, however, she didn't seem to mind my almost-stalker-like lurking over her shoulder. She did this really obnoxious giggle at some point, which would have irritated the crap out of me if I wasn't so infatuated with her. "Hermione," I leaned over and whispered into her ear. "Yes, Harry?" Suddenly, we were nose to nose and I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth for the past two months. She obviously noticed this, but didn't bring it up. "Hermione, we have to talk after class." She looked at me seductively right before I sneezed on her.
    After charms, I pulled Hermione aside. "Why did you want to talk me to?" Haha, oh, Hermione, acting like she doesn't know. "Hermione, I am, uh, MADLY in love with you!" She winked with both eyes. "So, I am going to ask you a very important thing. Do you want to secretly go out with me?" She smiled. "Of course, Harry." So, I took her sweaty hand in mine, and walked across the hall.

~Ron's P.O.V.~

    Charms was confusing. I was confused. I'm always confused. So, after I was DONE being confused, I tried to catch up with my friends, whose names I have currently forgotten. But, I turned around, and they were GONE! So, I looked around for mop-like hair and a swagger showing true contempt for life.  They were holding hands.
My ex-girlfriend, and someone who I THOUGHT was my friend, were holding hands. I'm not very emotionally intelligent, but the feeling can be described as not-good. How could they have done this to me? I was still madly in love with Hermy-one. I should have known, I had seen them holding hands before, but I never would have thought Harry, an ECO-FRIENDLY PERSON, would do this! When you recycle cardboard, I guess you also recycle peoples' hearts. Life really is a rip-off.

A/N: Thanks for over 100 views. It really butters our egg rolls. Leave your thoughts, opinions, and emotional baggage in the comments. Bye.