I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

Realization

A/N: It would be dope if you voted and/or left a comment. K bye

~Harry's P.O.V.~

One day, after being at Hogwarts for a month, I woke up with a strange feeling. It had been a week since Ron and Hermione had broken up, and things had been different. Ron had been whiny, annoying, and eating a ton.
Wait. It wasn't that different.
Hermione was the one that had been different. Lately she had been spending a ton of time around me. One day she was staring at me while I was eating, and I was just like, "Hermione, I'm trying to enjoy my burger in peace. Jeez, man!"
Hermione only giggled and kept staring at me.
Whenever Ginny and I were together, Hermione would appear and do this weird hair flip thing, every time hitting Ginny in the face. I was super confused. I thought maybe she was just suffering from the breakup.
Now back to the day I had that strange feeling. This time it wasn't from gas, I'd made sure to take some Gas-X before bed. No, the strange feeling was a realization.
It was the realization that Hermione was in love with me.

~Hermione's P.O.V.~

Now that Ronald was hopefully out of the picture, it was time to work on my true love: Harry Potter. I made sure to show all signs of affection; I did hair flips, gazed at him lovingly at all times possible, and giggled whenever he passed gas.
Unfortunately, there were two problems. Ginny and Ron. Harry seemed- what, attracted?- to Ginny, he was always with her. I asked Harry about it, and he gave a really dumb answer. "We're dating." Unbelievable. As if that was a reason to be around her. The second problem was Ron. He didn't seem to understand what being over meant. He kept bringing me these flower that smelled really good. I was disgusted.
One day I found Harry alone at last. He was picking his nose in the corner of the common room, so I made a move before Ginny could appear and ruin everything.
"Hey, Harry," I said, putting as much flirt at possible into my voice.
"What, Hermione, can't you see I'm busy?" He said irritably. Wow, he's so hot when he's annoyed.
"Well, I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to dump Ginny so you could go out with me!"
Harry's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Why would you say that? We're madly in love!" He gaped at me.
"Oh, oops, sorry, autocorrect, what I meant to say was do you want to  have an eating contest to see who can eat the most muffins. Sorry, honest mistake."
"This is a verbal conversation."
"Oh, um, never mind that, how about that muffin eating contest?"
"Oh, ok, well, sure. I always love a good gorge!" Harry replied, suddenly enthralled at the prospect of stuffing himself.
We headed down to lunch where Ginny was waiting for Harry. He gave her a big, sloppy fist bump, which I grimaced in disgust at.
We sat down to start our contest. Wanting to show Harry how impressed I was with his skill, I ate one muffin and said, "Wow Harry I'm stuffed you win what a stomach of steel I am im-pressed!"
Harry nodded at the crowd cheering at him. "No, no, people, it was nothing. Just doing what I do best!"
After the crowd cleared, with Ginny going with it, I FINALLY had another chance with my love. "Wow, Harry, you did so good at that." He looked pleased I had complimented him. "Yeah, I know, I'm Harry Potter." What a dream-boy. I gave him a high-five, and he looked horrified. "Hermione! I have a girlfriend!" I gave him my flirtiest eyes yet, and said, "But she doesn't have to be..." He looked shocked, but hopefully in love with me, too. Harry had an interesting look on his face, a constipated look I knew all too well.

~Harry's P.O.V.~

I knew something had been off with Hermione! She was in love with me this whole time... that's why she broke up with Ron! I mean, I know I'm hot beyond belief, and a ladies man, but to my best friend, Hermione Granger? Ron would be horrified if I pursued anything with her, and Ginny would tooooooootally break up with me. But, maybe she didn't have to find out. Maybe, Hermione and I could go out secretly... Man, the things I come up with. I needed a break after all that thinking, and took a nap before scheming more. If this plan worked, it would be the greatest scandal in the wizarding world!