I Wish That Boy Was Mine: An Ironic Harmione Fanfic

Renaissance

A/N: So very sorry for that last chapter, the romance got way out of hand. Don't worry, this chapter will be about as steamy as a shower... that hasn't been used. Which is to say not steamy at all.

~Harry's P.O.V.~

I had a fitful, sleepless night. I had eaten a burrito for dinner the evening before, and it had given me horrible indigestion. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran to the bathroom and let out a huge, twenty five second log fart. The relief was amazing. I still had to take a dump, so I did that, and then proceeded to my dorm again.
Suddenly, I stopped. For some unknown reason, I felt compelled to take a random walk through the castle.
I came upon that weird blank wall thing that hid that other spoopy door room deal.
"Ooh," I said to myself.
Show me a dope room, yo. Show me a dope room, yo. Show me a dope room, yo.
I walked three times or whatever past the wall until the door appeared. I was not at all prepared for what came next.
It was a room full of skateboards, fidget spinners, and Supreme shirts. It was the dopest.
And there, sitting on a throne made of airhorns, was my queen: Hermione Granger.
"Hey, Harry," she said, her mouth full of cheese from the buffet at the side of the room.
"Oh, hey Hermione," I replied, not really paying attention to her. I was distracted by the iPhone Xs scattered about the room, all fully equipped with Vine 2.
"So I was thinking.." said Hermione.
"Uh huh," I nodded, counting the amount of times my fidget spinner span.
"I think you should dump that looser of a Weasley. Uhm, Jenny, or whatever her name was."
"I'm listening," I lied.
Hermione stepped in front of me, and suddenly my head cleared. I realized what was going on. I was in a room with Hermione Granger. Only Hermione. I couldn't be doing this. I had to stay, what was the word, faythfule, to Ginny.
"NO!" I said, shoving Hermione into a pile of fidget cubes. "I can't do this!"
"Wait!" Hermione cried. She sniffed. I was confused. A wet thing came out of her eye and rolled down her cheek. I was unaware of what was going on.
"Harry... I like you. I like like you. I don't want you to be with Ginny because I hate her. I want you to be with me. I want to hold your hand, and bless you when you sneeze. I want to do all the things I never did with Ronald."
Her face was getting soggy. "What are you doing?" I asked her.
"I'm crying. It's a thing people do when they're sad."
"Oh. Ok." I pondered. "Will this help?"

~Hermione's P.O.V.~

It was happening. It was really happening. Harry Potter was leaning in, eyes squinted, lips squished together in a weird grimace. I could only interpret it as an attempt at a kiss.
I came in for the peck. Suddenly our lips were touching. It was slimy and moist. I could taste day-old sausage and roast beef on his teeth.
We kissed. It was everything I had ever wished for.
"K fam I'm going to break up with Ginny now," Harry said.
"Have fun love you bae," I said.

~Harry's POV~

I left the Room of Absolute Dopeness with a spring in my step and a squeak in my fart. At last I would be rid of that monster Ginny!
I found her doing yoga outside of the castle. "Hey Ginners!" I said.
Ginny glared at me. "Yes?"
"I kissed Hermione, and I think we should break up."
"WHAT?!"
I was confused. Didn't Ginny hate me?
"You kissed Hermione while we were dating?" Ginny screamed.
"Yeah, but we're not dating anymore, so... yeah."
Ginny sniffed. "You are a jerk and a cheat, Harry." Then she ran away.
That was easy!

A/N: Sorry for the confusion. Something happened with the story, so we had to unpublish this chapter, but also we had a chance to fix some stuff anyways. Thanks