Life and Love (My Fight Against Cancer)

Part title

Hindi lahat ay nabiyayaan na makahanap ng tunay na pag-ibig. Ang iba sa atin ay dumadaan muna sa sakit bago makilala ang taong magmamahal sa kanila ng higit pa sa inaakala nila. Ngunit meron din mga taong minsan na nasaktan at natakot na sumubok pa. Takot na maulit pa ang nangyari sa nakaraan. Takot na pagkatapos maibigay ang pagmamahal sa isang tao, ay lolokohin lang at iiwan, mahihirapan bumangon. Walang makapagsabi kung ano ang dapat gawin. Ang magmahal ulet o ang piliin nalang ang mamuhay mag-isa para hindi na maranasan ang masaktan.

Kakambal na ng pagmamahal ang sakit. Minsan kelangan muna natin masaktan para malaman natin ang tunay na kahulugan ng pag-ibig.

Isa ako sa mga taong lubos na nagbigay ng pagmamahal at nahirapan makabangon sa sakit na idinulot nito sa akin.

I was too young back then, he was a good friend of mine, my schoolmate when I was in secondary years and we were even classmates during my first years. We basically knew each other but we lost contact right after our high school graduation. He immediately went to the big city to have his Uni while me I just studied in one of the government school in the province.

We were reunited after 3 years. He went for a holiday in the province because He just finished his degree. I was on my third year back then. Constant communication follow which leads us into a more deeper bond. Right after my graduation, he profess his love and who am I not to fall for him. He waited for me until I graduated because I told him I want to focus first on my studies, He knows that I need to help my parents and having a degree is my only way to do it.

We were sailing on a calm sea despite of being on an LDR. He was on the other side of the world as a seafarer while I was still on the province saving for my move to the big city. We were on a relationship and he can easily give me the finances that I need but I am not that kind of person, I want to work hard and not defend on what they can give. It is not pride, it is because I know how hard it is to earn money that's why I don't want to abuse them for extending help on me. I just told them I will ask if ever I needed it but I will try to find my ways first. I make it clear to him na I don't want him giving me money, I love him not because of what he can give but because of the person he is. So, he won't insist of giving me but he still offers like pwede ka umutang sa akin pag kelangan mo and even joked at me na meron interest.

It was also clear between us that He won't give me expensive gifts kasi hindi naman mahalaga iyon sa sa isang relasyon, love is more important to me at kaya kami nagkaroon ng ganun na rules kasi we are really opposite.

Marahil dahil galing sya sa maayos na pamilya na kaya maibigay ang karangyaan sa buhay at ako naman ay galing sa mahirap kaya alam ko kung gaano kahirap kitain ang bawat sentimo. He is into gadgets which I am not, He would buy the latest models while I just use the old phones ( not the touch screen), not until I got a pre-loved touch screen phone from my cousin. Na kahit anong pilit nya na bilhan ako ay hindi ako pumayag co'z I don't want him to spend such amount na hindi naman "needs" eh kundi "wants" lang.

Moving to the city is not that easy but it is the best way for me to find a better job that were not available in the province. It was hard especially for me who don't have any relatives there, but I know I can always find a way to win every battle. I just need to believe I can and pray for it of course.

The love that I have for him grows deeper, he never fails to let me feel that I am important to him. He respects me. Masasabi ko na sya na ang gusto ko makasama until we grow old. Dahil bago lang ako sa Manila, sya ang naging tour guide ko. Tinapat nya na ang pagpunta ko ng Manila ay iyon din ang pag baba nya sa barko. He makes an extra effort to travel everyday from his house to my boarding house. Maayos ang lahat. I got the job at bumalik na din sya sa trabaho. Kahit we were still young, right after my birthday, he made his proposal. Hindi iyon magarbong pagpapahayag ng pagmamahal but just a simple dinner with a sincere intention and we were planning to have it the year after the proposal. I want to help my parents first and he also promised me that nothing will change, na kahit makasal na kami ay malaya pa din ako na matulungan ang magulang ko which I am thankful of. He told me that he will be the provider and my salary can still go directly to my parents because He knows that helping my parents makes me happy. I am happy with our relationship.