How Far Are You Willing to Go?

Chapter 7-First of many things

***Talk of straight sex***

***Still Ryan POV***

It’s time, it’s Saturday morning. I wake up next to the two people I trust the most Todd and Jay. Jay of course is already up contemplating how to begin this plan. Todd is just passed out due to the fact waking up before 2 p.m. on a Saturday is foreign to him. Before I can even begin to speak I hear the faint steps of my mother coming down the hall towards my bedroom, not but a second passes before I hear a knock and my mother’s voice asking if we were all decent so she could come in. She informed us breakfast was ready and we all went downstairs. Todd scarfed down at least three plates, Jay and I however didn’t eat even the entirety of one plate. How can we eat when we know what we are about to do?

“So what are you boys planning to do today?” my mother asks as Todd eats yet another plate. Oh nothing mom just kill me and bring me back to life so I can see the dead love of my life one last time. “Honey are you okay?” It was then I realized I had just been blankly staring at my mother instead of answering her question.

“He’s just tired as usual Mrs. Mariano. We didn’t get much sleep last night once we got to talking about our project we just couldn’t stop.” Jay interjected saving the day. “We were just gonna go into town and get some supplies and maybe hang out at the beach for a little bit, if that’s okay with you of course.” My mother simply smiled and nodded. Jay always had a way with authority, I’m glad I’m walking into this with him because we might need a lot of convincing. With that we were off.

Standing outside of the entrance of the hospital I could feel the fear coming off of my friends, Jay was the worst. I know he doesn’t approve but how could I just let James go? “Let’s do this.” I say walking into the hospital as my companions follow. We immediately split up, Todd found Jay’s mom without an issue. However I was not so lucky, I ran into my neighbor who wanted to catch up. Jay was our only hope, he excused himself and wished the neighbor well before going on a hunt for the supplies.

***Jay’s POV***

Focus Jay. The list is in your pocket, you checked spelling a million times, and you got the information from a reliable source. Just breathe and get the stuff so we can get through all of this. That was when I heard it, “Jay? Jay is that you?” I tried to ignore the soft voice that sounded from behind me, I knew who it belonged to. “Jay Anthony Jones, you turn around this instant you are many things but deaf is not one of them.” Damn it.

“Yes Cheryl, how may I help you?” I say sarcastically. She smiles softly.

“I was hoping we could talk.” She motioned towards the nearest bench. My mind went completely blank of what I was doing and I followed her instructions. “Thank you for not running the other way.” She pushed her hair behind her ear.

“What is it you wanted to talk about?” I spoke suddenly before she could distract me with her looks any more than she already had.  

“I’m sorry Jay.” She touched my arm looking at me to ask if it was okay, I didn’t stop her. “I should’ve never done what I did. I know we were having problems but that didn’t mean I had a right to-“

“Cheryl you slept with someone else.” I said bluntly. “You didn’t just do something wrong you broke me. I know that maybe I wasn’t the best at sex I mean I was inexperienced.  You were my first. You were my first of many things Cheryl, I loved you and I let you touch me and showed you parts of myself nobody has ever seen and you betrayed me. All you can do is say sorry?”

“Jay I don’t know what you want me to do. I know sorry isn’t enough and I know it never will be but Jay I need you. I’ll do anything to get you back, nothing better than you is ever going to happen to me. You’re so sweet and so kind, can’t you find it in your heart to forgive me? If you really do love me then why not?” A tear dripped down her face.

“Cheryl, I-“My voice broke when her grip on my arm tightened, I couldn’t just stop speaking I had to get this out. Through the tears I began to speak again. “I want to forgive you, more than anything I want to forgive you. I just…how am I supposed to forgive you? I gave you everything I had and you just threw it all away, even now you hit on my bestfriend in front of my face. If you really want to be with me then how can you tear me apart every time I see you?”

“I thought hitting on him would make you jealous, I thought it would make you want me again. Jay, I’m a bad person there is no denying it. You make me different though Jay. I’m a better person when I’m with you. It’s like I’m on a different planet just to be near you. With you I don’t have to be this girl, the one that hurts everyone, the one that destroys everything she’s ever cared for. I slipped Jay, I thought I was losing you and I freaked out and I slipped.” I looked at her questioningly and she just leaned forward and kissed me. Once our lips parted it felt like an eternity before I heard my phone go off snapping me back into focus of my goal. I had gotten a text from Ryan saying that we were running out of time.

“I uh- I have to go I’m sorry.” I got up and walked away despite Cheryl’s protests and didn’t dare look back because I knew if I did, I would forgive her.

I finally got to the medicine cabinet and did the best I could to shift through it unnoticed. Luckily I got through it and got exactly what I needed into my bag just in time to see my mother and Todd walking nearby. I hid in crevice of the wall to avoid explaining to my mother why my eyes were wet with tears. I texted the boys and told them to meet me outside on the bench. I was left with my thoughts for a few minutes until the boys came out of the hospital. Neither of them dared to ask why I was crying. They respectfully overlooked it to spare me the loss of my dignity, but it felt as though I had already lost that and more.