He looks so sleepy, I wonder why he’s just lying there like that. Just staring at the ceiling like if he were to turn away even for just a second he’d miss something. Could he….? No, James he’s not thinking about you. He forgot you existed within months of moving. Ugh this would be easier if I was breathing but nope, I’m dead and that will never change. If I could just talk to him, tell him how I feel. God why didn’t I try harder to keep in touch? When he didn’t push for it I just isolated myself, not even just from him but from everyone. How did I become this? I’m dead and nobody cares. I’m stalking him with some fantasy that he’s gonna realize I’m there and suddenly be in love with me. It’s silly to think that, it’s silly to be here. Why am I here? It hurts to watch him like this, never being able to talk to him or tell him a stupid joke like he used to tell me all the time. My heart and mind are at war on what he thinks and feels. I can’t tell which would be worse, him actually not remembering me or him remembering just to know that I was dead.
God I’m having a panic attack, I can’t breathe. How is this happening? I’m dead, I’m not supposed to breathe. Nobody prepared me for this, oh God somebody help I don’t understand this.
Calm James, calm. Look at Ryan, don’t think about anything else just Ryan.
*Ring ring* the phone starts to blare.
Wow, a teenage boy with the plainest ringtone ever. Couldn’t he make it a song or something?
“Hello?” he answered the phone. I wasn’t close enough to hear who was on the other side at first until I got closer. It was Tod, Tod Everson his new cooler best friend that surfed and replaced my boring depressing ass.
“You up for some surfing?” Tod said with a sly tone of voice.
“Tod usually when you say ‘you up for some surfing?’ in that tone of voice you’re talking about standing with a surfboard while eight ‘babes’ as you call them, stand around you.”
“Alright, you caught me. But come on man, you need to get out of the house. You’ve been cooped up for months. How long has it been since you’ve been out? Five months? Six? Just come out, you’ll meet a hot babe.”
“Sometimes I think you try too hard to be Californian Tod, gotta live up to the name and the hair I guess.”
“Hey! That’s not fair.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been so out of it recently.”
“Make it up to me by coming out with me and the babes, getting a girl will make you feel better.”
“Tod, I don’t need you to sell me off to the girl who’s given you the most goats. Besides when they stand around you it resembles a satanic ritual and it kinda freaks me out.” Ryan said quite seriously.
“Goats? What?” Tod said as it was obvious to tell that everything Ryan just said went over his head.
“Nothing,” Ryan said after a small pause. “It’s just an expression ya know ‘I’ll give you 12 goats for your daughters hand in marriage’?”
“Ohhhh yeah I totally get you now dude.”
“You have no idea what I meant do you?”
“Nope, but if you come out with me you can explain it.” You could hear the desperation in his voice.
“Ehhhhh.” Ryan paused knowing he really had been distant recently. “Fine, but the first girl that shoves her hand down my pants is going to cause mass homicide.”
“Sure buddy, I’ll pick you up in an hour.” He immediately hung up before Ryan could protest.
Great, now Ryan is going out to be surrounded by girls and his new and improved James. What could be better than this? God do I wanna watch this? No, but I have to. I can’t just not and then he come back home with a girlfriend. Ugh if he’s bringing a girl home then she better have had a lot of damn goats.
YOU ARE READING
How Far Are You Willing to Go?
Teen FictionJames Reid loses his best friend, Ryan Mariano, to distance at a young age, but the feelings he's always had never subsided. After getting into an accident he finds himself much closer to Ryan than he thought he'd ever be again. Will all of this end...
