I could never love you as well as you could love me. I couldn't spoil you in food or back rubs, at least now how you could for me. You used to remind me of how much fun you had coming over until 4am, despite the fact that we had to wake up early the next morning. You don't miss them anymore; I can't either, I won't allow myself.
You don't miss me either, so why in the hell do I miss you? I miss the cuddles at midnight, and the cold nights we would walk around staring at the sky. You used to take me to dinner, your mother was mostly there but you still invited me and showed me what a wonderful time should feel like. Sometimes I'd sneak you in, I mean, not only for sex but some nights you'd bring a movie, and we'd cuddle until it was over. Sometimes we'd have to rewind the movie, due to us distracting one another, missing a couple minutes.
Actually, I don't miss them. I don't miss how we'd cry to each other or how your soft touch would make my entire day. Why should I? Someone as perfect as I thought you were can't be real; just a figment of my imagination. It's almost funny, everyone I breathe in turns out the exact same. We fall in love, and make memories that last a life time, only for one of us to rip away from the other. I hope days like ours never repeat.
I don't know if I've grown angry or confused; perhaps this is just sadness. I feel every emotion possible, although I wish I could feel nothing at all. I've always felt this numbness, in fact I didn't think there was anything else possible to feel, so why, all of a sudden has that changed? Is there some sort of switch that can be flipped?
I don't want to be fixed anymore. I've always relied on someone to fix me. I can't rely on people to finish me; it never works that way.
YOU ARE READING
My Past Memories
Short StoryWho are you when you're desperate enough to find love in anything? Different times, different people. Not entirely sure what to call this "book" but every piece is a day with someone or my personal feelings with them at the time.
