I read your letters again. You know, the ones you left on my bed. I didnt expect to cry; without fail, i cry every time i lay my eyes on your written words. I could hear your voice, in my head, reading to me each word.
I hurt, a lot.
I hurt so much without you. I think I learned to mask it, but every once in a while i feel my heart sink and my mind wonder to the nights you’d be here. It seemed like we were always close, except, we werent. The one time we finally got close, inseparable, it was cut so very short. We hardly talk anymore, it breaks my heart. I know that if we were to talk more it’d get harder, having to deal with never seeing you.
This probably sounds horrible, but i loved smoking cigarettes. I loved that we always shared one. I loved watching smoke escape from behind your teeth. I found it so beautiful, even though we were signing our lives away to death. I wanted you to think i was just as beautiful too.
I think i was in love with you; or was it the nights? I dont know. The farther away the days are, the more my mind blurrs them.
I miss you, and i dont think there will be a day that i dont miss you. You became more than just my best friend, you became family, not only to me, but to my mother and sister as well.
You helped me learn how to love myself, or atleast like myself. I dont really know how or why but you did. I cant thank you enough for that. I cant thank you enough for giving me such beautiful nights to remember. I dont ever want to forget them.
I hope I dont.
I hope I dont try to.
Maybe I will?
YOU ARE READING
My Past Memories
Krótkie OpowiadaniaWho are you when you're desperate enough to find love in anything? Different times, different people. Not entirely sure what to call this "book" but every piece is a day with someone or my personal feelings with them at the time.
