ZARA

Now or never

Friday, May 17 CONTINUED
I'm going home early. I don't want to watch everything unfold, I've had enough for today, I don't what's going to happen to Samantha. I just want my life back. Also, Madison lent me a hat to hid my hair, but she said I can't hide it forever.
"Hide what forever?"
Nothing Theo.
"What are you doing at home, again"
What are you doing here?
"I finished early, now don't change the subject"
I'm not!
"And why are you wearing a hat, you said you wouldn't be caught dead wearing a hat"
Does it matter?
"Yep"
Theo don't take it off, please-
"It can't be that bad- oh my God..."
I told you Theo, but you had to take the hat off, didn't you?
"Zara, wait, tell me who did this to you"
It doesn't matter...
"Zara, please let me in"
Fine! What!
"Tell me who did this!"
.......
"Zara!"
Theo please I don't want to talk about it...
"Zara....don't cry. I will take this person down, just tell me."
I was walking into a classroom then a bucket of glue fell on my head... and-
"Zara, you're stalling"
.........
"It's now or never, tell me"
Samantha Willow, there, fine, I've said it!
"MOM!"
No Theo don't call Mom, I'm begging you, please!
"I won't tell Mom, Get up, stop crying"
........
"Zara, tell me how this happened"
What?
"Everything, Do you honestly think I would believe, that your panic attack was because of school"
Okay...
"Tell me how you feel, please"
I feel like... I have these deeper feelings that I don't want anyone to see and I'm always trying to act happy for everyone, but I can't, I don't know why. There were so many problems that I couldn't control my feelings, I'm so tired of fighting and fighting for something good to happen in my life. I wait and wait ... I get nothing and if I do get something, it's gets taken away instantly. I try my best to be a good person, I REALLY DO. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking WHY AM I ALIVE? I want to please everyone but I can't even please my self. I'm sad 24/7 and I can't help it. After Mom and Dad separated, I blamed the whole thing on myself. I didn't sleep for days. You took it so well and I was a mess. These last months have been hell for me, I'm so alone Theo, so lonely, I can't help but panic every 10 minutes. I JUST NEED HELP-
"I had no idea... I'm so sorry. The fact that you've been feeling this way and nobody realized, makes me so so angry and upset.i'm so sorry, Zara."
Theo, it's not your fault, please don't blame yourself.
"Okay let's acknowledge something else before we both start sobbing, where did those bruises actually come from?"
Do you really want me to answer that?
Yes, before I completely lose my mind, tell me.
It was her...
"Okay, that's all you need to say. I'm telling Mom and she'll talk to the Principle."
No Theo!
"Zara, are you crazy, that girl has been bullying you."
Tearing her down might tear me down as well, let me handle it my own way, please.
"Okay, Just this once"
Thank you
"You said you need help, I'm here whenever you need it"
I know, and honestly, you are the best brother I could ask for.
"Maybe, maybe not, but I'm going to try. What do you want to do about your hair? It's really bad you might have to, get rid of it."

Maybe but I don't care anymore, it's just hair, it'll grow back, I'm going to hide it with a hat for a while.
"Okay, whatever you think is best, give me 10 minutes I'll be back."
Okay

I don't know what's going to happen but at least I have some control back over my life.