NEVER FORGET YOU | 2

Chapter Nine

C H A P T E R - N I N E

Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I'm quite it's because I need to figure myself out. It's not because I don't want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts.

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Between dealing with all my own problems, pretending everything's fine, I sometimes feels like I have no energy left.

Sometimes I imagine what it would feel like to be taken care of... For someone to wrap me up in a blanket, hold me while I cry and tell me that they love me and that everything will be alright.

But for some reason, whenever anyone ask me if I am okay. I always say I am fine. But, am I actually fine? And the loneliness I feel every night whenever I cry myself to sleep. Is that ever going to end?

The nightmares, those sleepless nights, haunting memories. Any of them will ever stop? My knight in shining armour, is he ever going to come, to save his damsel in distress? And even if he came, is it hundred percent sure he will be able to save me from my own self? From my fears?

Everything is just so messed up. All of it. And the reason of all this mess is solely me. I am one fucked up girl who can't put her shit together. Who can't even sleep without getting nightmares. The one who has this stupid habit of pushing away all those love once who have tried to help her.

I groaned again, flipping the covers away from my body and getting out of the bed. This is not going to work. I just can't sleep. My head is full of self loathing thoughts.

I have to do something. To distract my mind. But what? I asked myself as I keep marching left and right around my room.

But then my eyes fell on my messed up room. Clothes scattered everywhere, on my bed, on the floor and rest of them peaking out of my half closed trolley bag which I had pushed to the side.

Guess I have a work to do.

I spent half of the night arranging my limited amount of clothes inside the big dark polished wardrobe covering the whole wall.

When I was all done, I looked back at the wall clock opposite to the direction of bed. It was only ONE in the morning. I still have half of the night to pass.

I was feeling exhausted, and probably sweaty because of the work I just did.

I need fresh air.

I walked towards the big window and slide it open to let some fresh air come inside.

As chilly cold air filled the room, it made me wrap my arms around myself because of the sudden coldness, specially to my bared legs, but I welcomed it neverthelessly. It was cold for sure, but it was refreshing.

I went back inside to take the comforter from the bed, and one of the books I brought with myself. I again made my way out of the window to sat near the balcony. It was night, but not dark. The full moon was shining bright against the night sky.

There's nothing more beautiful than the full Moon.

And I had read somewhere that if you're ever feeling lonely, just look at the moon. Someone somewhere is looking right at it too.

Maybe... He was looking at it from another room... Errrr.....

No, stop. Don't think about that idiot Kavya. Focus on your book.

I looked at the book in my hand.

A Midsummer Night's Dream, by William Shakespeare.

Wow Kavya, you forget to pack your pills and your most important clothes. But you didn't forget to pack your books. That voice of my head mocked.