Separated Love

Chapter 3: Kartik and Naira Fight Regarding the Past

I feel a tap on my shoulder, and someone moving me to wake me up. "Ugh please stop. I'm exhausted."
"Naira, come on wake up. We have to get you home. I'm sure Papa will be worried." Kartik? I open my eyes and there he is. Looking as cute as always. I wrap my arms around his neck and shake my head no as I start to fall back asleep. "Naira please! Get up." I all of a sudden remember everything that happened today. It startles me out of my slumber, and I'm up in 2 seconds. Kartik is trying to stifle a laugh. I'm so embarrassed. What is he gonna think about me?
"Gimme a second, I need to change Kartik."
"Okay I'll wait outside." As I'm changing my clothes I talk to myself. How could I be so stupid? I woke up once again forgetting everything that happened between us. Come on Naira it has been 2 years. I take one last look at the yellow sari, smiling at how many memories this colored sari has provided me. I walk out and see Kartik pacing back and forth. I want to ask him what's wrong, but I don't think it's my place to anymore.
"Should we go?" I ask Kartik. He just nods and starts making his way towards his car. What's wrong with him all of a sudden? Once again we walk in complete silence. The silence starts to turn into anxiety for me. Why is Kartik so upset? Did something happen? We reach his car, sit inside, and Kartik turns on the radio. A song that I listened to for the past two years is playing. Bulleya from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil. Once again this song nearly brings me to tears. I glance at him as he continues to be bothered by some thought. I listen to the lyrics, Yeh dil toh dhoondta hai, inkaar ke bahane. Lekin yeh jism koi pabandiya na maane. Milke tujhe bagawat khud se hi yaar karna chahun. These lyrics have never held more truth.
    Kartik reaches to my flat and says, "I'm sorry I accidentally drove mindlessly to where I live. I can drop you off at your place." Wait, Kartik lives here too?
    "Kartik, this is the apartment complex I live in. You live here too?" Kartik is shocked looking at me.
    "Yeah, Keerti di got me a place here. I should've known this was all set up by her." He sounds so angry at her. Kartik is this upset about living in the same building as me. The little bit of excitement that I had built up is gone now too.
    "Well, if you have such a huge problem with it I'll make sure to stay out of your way." Kartik is astonished by my statement.
    "Naira..."
    "No Kartik. I don't need any justification for what you just said. Similar to how you never listened to any justification for what I did."
    "Oh so this is back to what you did to Shubham. How you killed my little brother, right?" Those words never fail to sting every single fiber in my body. I didn't kill Shubham. He was like a brother to me too.
    "Kartik, I could sit here and give you an explanation, but quite honestly, if you truly loved me, I wouldn't have to explain myself to you. You would know what type of girl I am and what intentions I have. It's sad that the person who swore he'd love and protect me is the one that I need to defend myself to. The day you truly open your heart to the idea that Shubham's death was not my fault is the day you'll hear from me what actually happened that day." Kartik sits there amazed by the hurtful words I just spoke to him. I insulted his love for me, but I don't care because what I said is the truth.
    "Naira, trust me I don't need you of all people to give me an explanation. As for love, like you have any right to insult my love. How about the fact that my own wife didn't show up to Shubham's funeral?" I am trying so hard now to fight back tears. That day running through my head all over again. The amount of pain I was going through when I hurt my ankle. Regardless of the pain, I was trying to fight my entire family to be there for Kartik. He's blind to all of my efforts because he didn't once think that maybe I had a reason for not showing up. His ignorance once again speaks volumes. "And let's not also forget that you hid the fact that Shubham took drugs. Why did you hide that from me Naira? We promised each other that we would always tell each other the truth and wouldn't keep secrets. If you had kept your promise, my little brother would be alive today. Ma wouldn't have gone through the pain that she went through that day and the pain that she still endures everyday." I think back once again to when Ma slapped me. I think back to how I promised Shubham that I would give him a chance to tell Kartik and the rest of the family about his problem. I think back to when I decided to tell Kartik about Shubham's drug issue regardless of my promise to Shubham. I want to yell and tell Kartik all of this but I can't. He doesn't deserve the truth until he himself understands who I am. I am not going to sit here and explain myself to someone that could actually think I would hurt him to this extent intentionally.
    I open the car door and leave. I make my way towards the door of the apartment complex when I decide to look back at Kartik. He's crying and punches his steering wheel. His anger has blinded him to my love. I turn back around and head inside.
    "Naira! You didn't pick up any of my calls. Beta, where were you? Are you okay?" Papa is super worried. I reach into my bag and realize I left my phone on silent mode since class.
    "I'm sorry Papa. The weather got really bad so I decided to stay on campus until it cleared up." I lie to him because I know if I tell him about Kartik being my professor that he'll get worried. "Anyways Papa, I have a lot of work to do for my next lecture so I'm gonna go and study."
    "Princess, you don't want to tell me about how your first day was? How was your professor and the other students there?" I know that if I start saying anything to him, I'll break down into tears right here. I tell him that I will talk to him about everything later because I'm busy. I head into my room and decide to take a shower to wash away all of the memories from today. After all, I've been washing away memories of Kartik for 2 years now, this shouldn't be too hard.
    I walk into the warm shower thinking about everything that happened today. I saw Kartik after 2 years. There were times where I wanted to forget everything and just run into his arms again, but I remembered that my self-respect isn't something I'm going to throw away. I think back to how he followed me because he wanted to make sure I was safe. This brings a smile to my face. He still cares for me. The smile instantly goes away as I remember his harsh words. I start crying thinking about how he accused me again of killing Shubham. Should I quit college? There is no way I can handle seeing him everyday. I don't have it in me anymore to fight him everyday. No. I can't quit just because of him. I left my life that I built 2 years ago because of him. This isn't going to happen again. I will go to college, and I will earn my degree. I will build my own career that Papa will be proud of. His princess is going to make him proud.
    I get out of the shower and decide to start studying. 4 hours pass and I'm finally finished. It's night out now. I wonder what Kartik is doing. My conscious tells me to stop thinking about him. I go to find Papa and we eat dinner together. I tell him that I am excited to keep studying and working towards my degree. He seems relieved to see the fake excitement on my face regarding today's lecture. I'm sorry Papa. I don't want to lie to you, but you've already sacrificed so much for me that I don't want to worry you again.
    It's time to go to bed so I grab my journal and begin to write about today. As I'm writing I start to fall into a deep slumber.

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Author's Notes
    I appreciate the love you all have been giving me about my take on Kaira's story after the leap. I absolutely love the relationship that they have, but I have noticed that they do have a huge flaw in this beautifully imperfect relationship. They both don't trust the other wholeheartedly. I know it seems like only Kartik doesn't trust Naira, but I will soon show how Naira needs to work on herself too. I'm also trying to depict a character of Naira that is conflicted between her love for Kartik and her need to protect her self-respect. It is shown too often in TV shows where girls will forget everything and forgive the person they love. I think Naira has always been shown to be someone who loves Kartik but is also true to herself. I want to really emphasize this with all of my readers. In life I have learned that people will walk all over you if you don't stand up for the person that you know you truly are. I'm excited to write more and take on this huge flaw in Kaira's relationship. You will see how they both understand this flaw and work through it as more chapters come. Happy reading!