Separated Love

Chapter 30: Arjun Visits Naira

I wake up as beads of sweat race down my forehead. I try to control this visceral feeling inside, but I can't take it anymore.

"Kartik!" I shake his arm. He is up in an instance. I realize he is still extremely worried since it barely takes anything to wake him up.

"Are you okay Naira?" I dry-heave before I can even respond to him. He quickly gets up and takes me to the bathroom. As I continue to dry-heave in the bathroom, Kartik dutifully holds my hair back. "Wow look at how the roles have reversed." I get confused trying to make sense of what he said since I'm busy with feeling so sick.

"What?" I ask with the confusion traced all over the top half of my face. Kartik awkwardly laughs.

"Oh you know when I was in this condition like a month ago?" I think back to when he drank too much and started puking.

"Did you think this was the best time to make that joke?" He stops laughing and looks nervous. I break out into laughter seeing him get scared. "Gotcha." I wink at him. We both laugh as we hear a knock on the door.

"Who is up at 3:30am?" Kartik asks what I'm already wondering. He goes to open the door.

"Kartik, I heard Naira throwing up when I was walking by to get water. Is she okay?" It's Ma and I genuinely get happy hearing her concern.

"Yeah Ma she's fine. She has just been nauseous. I think it's a side-effect of the medicines." I hear silence for a bit. I hate that I'm stuck in the bathroom and can't participate in the conversation. "You can come inside if you want." Kartik says.

"No no it's okay. I don't want to intrude," Ma responds quietly. I think she has realized that I can hear her.

"Ma, what are you saying? You never intrude," Kartik says.

"I know Kartik. Okay I'm happy that Naira is okay. Make sure she gets rest so she can recover properly." I hear the door shut, and soon after Kartik walks back into the bathroom. When I realize that I'm just nauseous and nothing's coming up I decide to go back to bed.

"Are you feeling better?" I hear Kartik say as I lay my head on his chest.

"Yeah," I say nearly whispering.

"What are you lost in thought about Naira?"

"Kartik, I noticed that Ma has started showing care for me again. It makes me so happy." I stop talking and start thinking again.

"You don't look happy though." He's right. I'm not happy.

"I've noticed the concern, but I think her hatred for me doesn't let her come near me. Do you think she still believes that I'm the reason that Shubham is gone?" Kartik's hold on me tightens, and I get my answer. "Well I guess I should be happy that she has made progress."

"I mean Naira, she's going to take time to come to terms with everything. She only recently started talking to a therapist. For two years she blamed you for everything to probably turn her misery into anger. Sometimes it's easier being angry than being sad. That's what I had to do." There's a pause in what he's about to say. "It was easier to hate you than to properly grieve over Shubham. I knew in my heart that you didn't do anything, but I'm just as guilty as Ma." His honesty reminds me of how I blamed Kartik for Mama's death.

"I'm guilty of doing the same Kartik. I guess I never thought about it like that." I decide to change the mood. First talking about Vedika and now this has been super gloomy. "When did my mendak get so smart?" I notice that Kartik is about to say something in retaliation, but I put my hand over his mouth. I move up and whisper in his ear, "Shhhh. I know I know. Sorry Professor Goenka." I kiss him on the cheek.