Separated Love

Chapter 9: Kartik Finds Out the Truth About Naira's Injury

We walk into the dance, and everyone's eyes are on us. Kartik is firmly holding my hand to make it clear to everyone that we are together. Kartik introduces me to all of the investors, and I watch him talk to them regarding the school. He is so hot when he's super formal and in his business mode. While I'm standing with him there, my mind begins to wander off. Is it right that Kartik and I are together right now? I know he defended me, but something like this always happens. He treats me awfully at first when he misunderstands me. Then he realizes his mistake and comes back to make up for it. I always end up forgiving him too. I think about how he told me to leave his family. He didn't once check up on me to make sure I was okay during those 2 years. Was his ego and pride that important to him that he couldn't contact me once? I tried to reach out to him and lost complete ability to dance. I have sacrificed so much for him. 2 years of us that could've been spent together were lost because he didn't reach out to me.
Kartik looks down at my face and asks me if I'm alright. I think it's visible how much my mood has taken a turn for the worst. I decide that right now is not the time to tell him all of this. Like he said, we will talk about it after we leave the dance. I put on a fake smile and nod.
"Naira, I know you can't dance anymore like before but are you still capable of having one slow dance with me?" I know I can stand there and sway side to side but the thought of it makes me anxious. I can't remember the last time I danced. Then again, if I'm gonna dance for the first time in so many years, it should be with Kartik.
"Yeah, I can do that." I say timidly. We walk to the dance floor, and I see all of the students that were talking badly about us. I still want to tell them off some more but decide against it. The song changes as if on cue because Kartik and I are on the dance floor. I wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his hands on my waist. We look into each other eyes and get lost in the song Labon Ko. Labon ko labon pe sajao. Kya ho tum mujhe ab batao. Todh do khud ko tum baahon mein meri baahon mein. I think back to hugging Kartik. Kartik brings me out of my reverie when he pulls me in closer so that we are basically hugging - following the beautiful lyrics of the song. My heart is telling me that this feels so right but my mind wants me to pull away. I decide to take in this moment because I don't know if it'll ever come again.
Once the song ends, Kartik tells me that he'll be right back. I see him go to the bar that's set up on the side. I can see him struggling there. He's holding a drink but he brings it to his mouth and then puts it back down. He's battling within on whether he should drink it. I walk up to him and rest my hand on his arm. He looks so helpless.
"Kartik, let's just leave. Being around people that are drinking isn't going to help. Plus we have a lot to talk about, and I rather you have this talk with me sober this time." I make a joke in the hopes of lightening his mood a little. He smiles and we leave. We get into his car, and the tension is crackling between us in the air. I tell him that we should talk about it once we get to his place. I text papa what happened and let him know I'll be with Kartik tonight to discuss everything. Kartik and I decide to pick up my favorite Indo-Chinese food on the way. We eat and as we finish talking about everything that doesn't matter, we know it's time to address the issue.

***

"Naira, I know I defended you to ma, but I'm still so angry with you. I want to be honest with you about how I feel." I don't know why his statement makes me so angry, but I have to control my anger and listen. We need honesty between us. We both know this conversation isn't going to be easy.
"What are you angry with me about, Kartik?"
"Isn't it obvious Naira? You kept Shubham's secret from me. Then, when I needed you the absolute most, you never showed up. Do you know how tough it was to carry my brother's dead body away and not have you there?"
"Then why did you tell me to leave the family?"
"Because I was mad at you!"
"Kartik, one second you tell me you want me to leave your family. The next you tell me you wanted me there to be with you. In your head, how is that justified? How is it fair to me that you're constantly telling me contradictory things, and then just expecting me to figure out what you want? Your anger doesn't justify these actions Kartik. I was so mad at you for making me leave the family. Without even a second thought, you made me a stranger to the family I accepted wholeheartedly the day I married you. Unlike you though, I controlled my anger and still tried to be there for you." Kartik seems confused. "Kartik, did you EVER once think to yourself why your Naira didn't show up to Shubham's funeral? Unlike you, I actually took the time to understand you when we were together. I know you were telling me to leave out of anger but your heart wanted me to be there with you. So that's what I tried to do. I was waiting for you on the terrace of your house to talk to you the day of Shubham's funeral. To explain to you why I never told you about Shubham so you could forgive me, and I could be there when you needed me the most."
"What?" Kartik asks completely stunned by my statement.
"You know Kartik, when you were drunk you told me how upset you were with me for not telling you about Shubham's secret. That is something I know I did wrong. I should have told you because you always used to be honest with me and tell me everything. And I apologize for not saying anything. However, have you ever thought how hard it is for me to tell you what's going on? Your reaction instantly goes to the extreme. I wanted to honor Shubham's request of telling you himself, but I wanted even more to tell you everything. I recently realized the reason I waited off on telling you was because you always get so angry Kartik, and when you get angry, you don't listen to anyone or see anything. You just do what you think is right in the heat of the moment. When you thought I hid Bhai's secret from you and locked you in that room the day of the marriage, did you listen to me when I kept pleading that it wasn't me?" Kartik looks down ashamed. "You know what hurts the most? The fact that you could ever think that I wouldn't want to be there for you. Do you even know me Kartik?" Both of us are crying at this point.
"Naira, I could barely recognize you when I found out that Shubham had told you everything and you didn't tell me. I thought you weren't the person I fell in love with." This makes me begin to cry hard.
"Kartik, I have ALWAYS been the same person you fell in love with!" I yell through tears. "You just always put everyone before me and trust everyone else before you trust me. HOW could you ever think that I would want to hide something from you! How in the world could you ever think that I wouldn't be there for you?! For the sake of our love, why didn't you once try to find out the truth? Why didn't you reach out to me in those 2 years to see if there was a reason I wasn't there? Do you think that lowly of me?" I violently cry and I'm so deeply hurt. It's like 2 years of built up emotions are coming out. Kartik quickly grabs my hand and tells me not to cry. I get up from the table and walk over to the window, rest my hands on the window sill so I have something to hold me up, as I cry my heart out. Kartik comes up from behind and turns me into his chest. I push him away. "NO KARTIK! You can't keep pushing me away and then pulling me back in whenever you want! I have emotions too which is something you don't seem to understand. You told me that I killed your brother, yet I know in your heart you didn't believe that. The truth came out when you defended me today. Then why did you say to me that I killed your brother? To hurt me?" Kartik fails to look into my eyes. "Kartik, what kind of love is this where I have to constantly explain myself to you? What kind of love is it where my own husband thinks so lowly of me and fails to understand who I really am? Do you wanna know what happened that day? Why I wasn't able to see you the day you were doing Shubham's last rites? I fell from the terrace Kartik. While waiting for you I fell and THAT is the reason I lost my first love - dance. I was in so much pain Kartik. Papa and Bhai took me to the hospital. Even when I was there writhing in pain, I wanted to be there for you. I didn't care about how much pain I was in because my love for you wanted me to be there for you when you needed me the most. But Kartik, when I hurt myself, that's when I needed you the most. I had to go through months of physical therapy to even be on my feet again. When I was in pain at nights, I cried out your name. I had to make sure that Papa wasn't there though because he was under enough stress from my injury and us splitting up. I wanted you even after you hurt me and kicked me out of our house. I wanted you even after you didn't let me be there for my brother Shubham when he died. I wanted you through all of that because I love you. Tell me what I did wrong Kartik to deserve your anger?" Kartik looks numb. He walks back from me until his back hits the couch and he falls to his knees. He keeps looking left and right at the floor, processing everything I just told him.
"Naira...I didn't know..." He says quietly as he cries.
"Of course you didn't Kartik." I say as I fall to the floor myself. "Because you didn't put in the effort to try and find out." We both sit there in silence, crying thinking about everything that has happened. My eyes continue to water as if this dam that I had built 2 years ago has finally been broken.

***

Author's Notes
As I was writing this chapter, I realized I kept finding more and more issues with Kaira's relationship that I wanted them to fix. I think it's great that the both of them have finally said what was in their hearts. Kartik already said how he felt when he was drunk, but Naira finally got to let out all of these emotions she had been building over the past 2 years. I hope you enjoyed the way this was portrayed. I really wanted to capture the pain that Naira must have been going through, and the way she felt when she vented at Kartik for all of his wrongdoings. I feel like Kaira's relationship has been broken down into pieces but the next set of chapters will begin to pick up those pieces, and build this relationship stronger than it has ever been before. They will come out stronger.