Separated Love

Chapter 12: Kartik Suffers From Withdrawals and a Panic Attack

    Kartik finally seems to be at ease with himself. He seems a lot more relaxed and confident in us. I help him with moving all of his stuff in. We have the song Janeman on repeat, reminding us of when we first moved all my stuff into his house after I got married. Before we know it, the day has already passed and it's nighttime. Time always passes by so fast when we are together. We go to the dining table and start eating.
    "So how are you feeling about your exam tomorrow?" He asks.
    "Honestly, I'm kind of nervous for it. If it's ok with you, can you quiz me on some of the material again before we go to sleep?"
    "Of course!"He says in excitement. I don't know why Kartik enjoys teaching me so much but it makes me laugh. "Hey! Don't laugh at me! Naira, I want you to be successful in everything you put your mind to. After all, you're my Naira." I can't help but give him a huge hug.
    "Kartik, I've probably already said this a million times now, but I'm so glad we are together again. I'm not even used to being this happy anymore. I was alive but I wasn't living until you came back." Kartik tells me that he felt the same way during these past 2 years.
    "Naira, we will work on our relationship and make it so strong that forget anyone else, not even our own egos can come between us anymore." He raises a great point. Our egos have always been an issue, but for me it was the matter of my self-respect. I decide to let him know because we promised each other we'd be honest and tell each other everything.
    "Kartik, for me, more than my ego...it was my self-respect that held me back from reaching out to you. When we were together, it was someone from our family constantly disrespecting me or lacking total faith in my character. That's simply not fair to me. Then when everything happened with Shubham, you were the person that absolutely obliterated the little self-respect I had left. I know it sounds harsh but I want to be honest with you because we promised each other that, right?" I'm afraid he'll get upset with me, but he completely surprises me.
    "Naira, you're my wife and it's my job as well to maintain your self-respect. I tried to do that all the time before everything with Shubham happened, and I apologize for being the one to ruin it as well when Shubham died. I know dadi is the one person who you're mainly referring to. I will try to talk to her. I will keep my extreme emotions in check and will properly talk to her." He makes a joke with the last sentence making us both laugh. "I'm glad you felt that you could share that with me Naira. I will work on it." Wow, the change in him has been so drastic in these past 2 days, but I know it's mainly because of his love for me.
    Kartik and I go to our room so he can help me study for my exam. Once again, he looks absolutely breathtaking being his focused, hardworking self. I need to focus on studying rather than how amazing he looks. He asks me a question, and I tell him I didn't even hear it.
    "Naira, where is your concentration? You need to do well on tomorrow's exam." He sounds annoyed.
    "Kartik, it's kinda hard to study when you're in your professor mode. You look so hot." He gets shy and then instantly recovers himself, putting a stern look on his face. "Okay sorryyyy. I'll focus." I study for another hour and we go to bed.
    Kartik is laying in bed, sitting up a bit. I lay next to him, resting my head on his chest and hugging him. I realize he's getting anxious again by the way his body is all tensed up. Before I can even ask him what's bothering him, he tells me.
    "Naira, I started drinking because of all the pain I was in these past 2 years. Now you're here and I want to get better. It's just that, I'm craving a drink right now, and I have such a bad headache because I'm not feeding my craving." This makes me so upset. We need to do something about his problem. "I feel so anxious without it. I have a problem Naira." His voice sounds like he's going to cry. "My heart is racing Naira." He moves me away so I'm not touching him anymore. "Oh God, I'm gonna throw up." He quickly runs to the bathroom. I run right behind him following him.
    "Kartik, hey you're going to be okay." I rub his back as he's hunched over from his nausea.
    "Naira, if I don't get better how will I support you? How will I help you get treatment for your leg Naira?" He starts hyperventilating. He's struggling to gasp for air. I realize that not only is he suffering from withdrawal, but he's also having a panic attack.
    "Kartik. Kartik look at me." I say in a super calm manner. I get him to face me. "Kartik, take deep breaths. It's okay. You're okay." I say as I rub his arms trying to get him to relax. "Here, just sit on the bed." I lead him towards it. "Kartik, keep taking deep breaths. We will get you help Kartik. Proper professional help. With the amount that you love me, I'm so confident you will get rid of this addiction." He starts breathing better - taking slower breaths. "Look, the first step is admitting you have a problem and you're already there. You genuinely want to get help so nothing will get in the way of that, okay?" He looks at me, looking a lot more calm.
    "Okay." He says looking down, not making eye contact.
    "Kartik, don't look away from me. This is nothing to be embarrassed about. Withdrawals are so hard and they make you anxious. Your anxiety then causes these panic attacks. It happens." He looks at me. "I'm here for you Kartik. I will be your support system as you go through this, okay?" He nods and smiles a little bit for me. I go to the kitchen to get him water. When I come back, he is laying on the bed looking a lot better. "Here, have some water." He sits up and drinks it. "Are you feeling better?"
    "A lot better but I still have a headache. Let's just go to sleep Naira. That'll help me the most right now." With that statement, I get into bed with him and we fall asleep.

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Author's Notes

    Today I wanted to show how Kaira's relationship is getting better by showing how they are being honest about their issues. Naira was able to honestly tell Kartik about how she felt regarding her self-respect, and Kartik was open with her regarding his drinking issue. Neither of them internalized their problems. I also wanted to highlight how real Kartik's problem is. Many people romanticize a drunk when drinking is such a huge issue. Kartik has an addiction that he needs help with, and Naira is fully determined to help him get through this. Another thing I want to emphasize is that Naira acknowledged how it's okay to have panic attacks to Kartik. Mental health is so incredibly important and it sucks that people get embarrassed when they struggle from anxiety and panic attacks. I've always seen Naira as a very intelligent individual which is why I wanted to her to be the one to address this issue. As the story progresses, you will see how Kartik and Naira both get through this hurdle. Slowly but surely everything will be fixed!

Also, a lot of you messaged me to update this story but these past 2 days have been crazy. I'm not sure if you heard but my cover of Yaha Waha was posted on Bhavna di's story on instagram so I was super busy with practicing and posting that cover. Thank you to everyone who shared my cover and got Mohsin to see it. Love you all ❤️