Separated Love

Chapter 17: Naira and Swarna Have a Talk

I wake up to find Kartik not beside me. I look at the time and it's 12pm. I accidentally slept in. My head feels a lot better now. I walk in the hall upstairs to find Kartik.
"Bhabhi!" It's Luv. He comes and gives me a hug.
"Hi Luv! Where's Kush?"
"Kush is with Bhaiya downstairs. Should we go down?" I nod at him, and we start heading downstairs. As I'm walking down I make eye contact with Ma. She doesn't look happy to see me, but oddly enough she doesn't seem angry either.
"Naira beta, how are you feeling now?" Papa asks.
"I'm feeling better Papa." I look over at Ma who goes on her phone to avoid making eye contact with me. I get slightly angry thinking about her words for mama yesterday, but then also think of the pain she still must be going through without Shubham. Luv is tugging at my hand so I can go to Kush and Kartik. We go to them and find them playing basketball.
"Let's play too Bhabhi!" I get upset because I know I can't risk it with my injury.
"You keep playing with your Bhaiya. When I get better, you guys will lose so enjoy now while you can!" Luv Kush start laughing. Kartik is just in a tank and once again, his looks have me enamored.
"Luv Kush, I have to talk to your Bhabhi for a second. I'll be back soon." We both walk towards the entrance of the house. "Naira...Papa and I spoke to mom about her seeing a psychiatrist. Surprisingly she wasn't opposed to it. She actually wanted to go." I think about why that is.
"She has probably been in so much pain for these past 2 years Kartik. Imagine, Ma was separated from Shubham for so long. Then when she finally got him, he died after such a short amount of time with us. I know what it's like to lose someone that you just got reunited with. Especially when you know you could've been with them for much longer prior to that reunion had there not been certain obstacles along the way. The agony that curses through your body isn't easy to take on. Hopefully she is seeing this as a chance for her to get better." As Kartik is about to respond, I notice that Ma has heard me. She quickly looks down when she's caught eavesdropping.
"Kartik, I'd like to talk to Naira alone." Ma says to me and Kartik while she looks down. This shocks both of us. Kartik looks over at me to see if I'm okay with this. He understands how I feel about it with my body language and walks away. "Naira, everytime I have thought about you for the past 2 years, I have wanted nothing more than for it to be you that day instead of Shubham." I can already feel a lump developing in my throat. "I have spent so much time hating you that I don't know how we can live under the same roof. However, I know that you're the person behind me seeing a psychiatrist. No one else in this house could have thought about that." She is saying this all through clenched teeth. I can't tell if she's mad or upset. "So, what I request is, please take Kartik back with you to Mumbai. I will start seeing a psychiatrist, and just maybe he or she can give me different perspective on this entire matter. I'm not saying that we will be fine or that we won't be fine so don't have any expectations. I'm just saying, because you're the reason I haven't been kicked out of this house, I feel indebted to you and this is my way to pay you back. I'll give you a chance and try to go in with an open mind. I need space from you during this time though." She pauses for a second. "I want to get better." Her last sentence tugs at my heart. She's in an agonizing pain I'm too familiar with. I know how hard it must have been for Ma to say all of this. She has spent the past 2 years resenting my existence. For her to say all of this to me means it took everything out of her. She turns to walk away, but I quickly grab her hand. She turns back surprised and moves her hand away.
"Sorry...I just wanted to say something too." She stands still so I know she's willing to hear me out. "When mama died, I felt hopeless. I wanted nothing more than to hug her and tell her how much I love her. I knew though that I wouldn't get that chance again. At least not in this lifetime. Having to live knowing you'll never see that person again is the toughest thing in the world. You have to carry on in life with a heavy feeling in your chest. I remember when I thought everything was Kartik's fault and how much I hated him. You were the person that tried to explain to me then to think everything through and that harboring love also means harboring trust. I know that right now this may all mean nothing to you because you hate me. But just remember, there was a time when me and you would support each other in everything. Please keep that in mind as you move forward in your treatment, Ma." I know me calling her Ma surprises her. I see a tear go down her cheek, and without saying anything to me, she turns around to leave. Kartik comes to me. He was waiting off on the side for our conversation to end.
"Is everything okay?" Kartik asks.
"Kartik, for the first time in a while, I have a little bit of hope that things may get better between Ma and I." Kartik looks away in anger.
"But after everything she did to you Naira. She hid your injury from me."
"Kartik, that was wrong. It was so wrong. But if me and you can make terrible mistakes, why can't she? We said awful things to each other when we were mad. I insulted your love for me, and you kept saying I was responsible for Shubham dying, simply to hurt each other. We both regret our actions, right? She made mistakes too. She said and did things she probably didn't mean. She did it all to hurt me because she holds me responsible for Shubham's death. I treated you so badly when I thought you killed mama." Kartik begins to calm down. "Kartik, don't get so blinded in your anger now towards Ma that you make the same mistake twice."
"You're right Naira. I have to think about this when I'm not mad at her. I just need some time."
"Take all the time you need Kartik, but don't make a hasty decision out of anger. She also told me she wants us to be in Mumbai when she gets treatment. She wants some space from me. I think that's a very reasonable request. Plus you need to get your treatment done as well, right?"
"Yeah, I'm still scared about that, but I'm so excited to get better."
"Kartik, Ma must be feeling the same way. Before we leave today, can you check on her. You've been the center of her world since Shubham died. You can't abandon her now. I'm not saying that you need to be the same way with her like before because I know you want space. Just make sure she's alright. We also need you to talk to Papa before you leave. I don't want us to go back to Mumbai without you apologizing to him."
"Yes ma'am. Anything else I can do for you?" His question restores my good mood. I grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in towards me.
"I'll answer that question of yours later when we get back to our apartment." I wink at him and leave him with his jaw dropped. Ahh that has to be on my top favorite things. Kartik's reactions to my sudden romance that throws him off guard. As I'm walking away, I turn back to see how he's doing. He looks at me acting dramatic like he's going to faint. Let's make that happen. I blow him a kiss and his eyes widen. I laugh at him and turn around...running right into Papa. "Oh my god!" I turn back around as if turning away from Papa will make this any less awkward now. Kartik is dying of laughter and imitates me as he walks away.
"Are you okay, Naira?" Papa asks smirking.
"Mhm." I look down and quickly walk towards my room. Kartik is going to tease me so much about this.

Author's Notes
Hi, please don't hate me for not demonizing Swarna. I personally thought this was the best way to go about this situation. Everyone hates her right now in the show, and I can vouch for that hatred too. It's just that she's doing this all because she is so deeply wounded by Shubham's death. Naira of all people can relate to her situation because she was at a similar place when Akshara died. Anyways, I hope you liked this updated. I have a 4 hour car ride to Canada tomorrow so you can expect another update soon! :)