complicated. [n.s]

12. okay

when niall heard the knocking on the door for the second time that day, he kind of expected++

to open it and see harry.

"hey."

"uh, hey?"

"may i come in?"

"weren't you just over a few minutes ago?"

"i have something i need to tell you..."

"well, in that case, come in."

after they finished sitting down on the couch, harry dropped the bomb.

"liam and louis, well..."

"liam and louis what?"

"they kind of... shit, this sounds really stupid."

"harry, just tell me."

"no! i'm afraid you might be offended."

"haz."

"no, don't use that nickname on me right now, i am contemplating whether to say this or whether to go back home and tell louis and liam to worry about themselves."

"are they worrying about me?"

"yeah, but over a stupid reason."

"what is the reason?"

"i can't tell you right now!"

"then why did you even come over?"

"they made me!"

"whatever you have to say, it is clearly about me. so please just tell me before i kick you out."

"you're going to kick me out?"

"did i stutter?"

"you can't!"

"oh, just like you can't tell me?"

"niall..."

"yes, harry?"

"my friends think you're a danger to yourself."

"is that so?"

"yes."

"you're not done talking."

"i'm not."

"so spill it out."

"and they want me to stay with you for a little bit."

"really?"

"yeah."

"i can't believe it."

"please, just try to understand that i don't agree with them. i think you're fine."

"you think i'm fine?"

"yeah."

"you're just as wrong as they are."

"well, then what are you?"

"i'm okay."

"okay? really?"

"yes. i don't really have anything to be horribly depressed about, but i'm not extremely happy right now in life. i'm not fine, but i'm not bad. i'm just... okay."

"so you are okay?"

"yep."

"should we pull a john green?"

"okay?"

"okay."

"i should call you 'harry edward' now."

"maybe 'i'm just okay' can be our 'always.'"

"shush, harry."

"fine."

"so what was your offer again?"

"i stay here a couple of nights to help you kinda deal with your feelings and emotions."

"this is so stupid."

"what is?"

"all the feelings and emotions i have about being possibly gay. no one died! i'm not self harming or anything. i'm not being bullied. i don't need to talk to a counselor."

"oh, trust me, you do need to talk to a counselor. coming to terms with it is pretty hard."

"it shouldn't be."

"no, it shouldn't be, but it is."

"thank you for doing this for me, harry."

"so am i going to be able to stay here?"

"i guess. but you are doing your own laundry and you are cooking for me every night that you're here."

"that sounds like a good deal."

"alright. i'll set up your bed in the guest room while you get your stuff."

"bye niall."

"bye harry."

when harry left, niall ran upstairs to grab his inhaler. he took a few puffs, his breath a wheeze. he couldn't let harry know that his breathing problems were coming back, because they only came back when he was about to do something major.