18. don't talk

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"h-harry... why are you crying?"

"'m not."

"yes, you are. your eyes are red. haz..."

niall walked over to harry and sat on his knees on the bed in the guest room, keeping his eyes on harry the entire time.

"what are you doing in here?"

"i just wanted to check on you. you were really loud and i wanted to make sure you were alright."

"o-oh. did you hear anything i said?"

"no, don't worry. were you talking to liam?"

"er, yeah."

"is he doing alright? we haven't really talked since... well, y'know."

"he's fine, i think."

"oh. okay."

there was a pause and niall took a deep breath in before scooting over to harry, putting one arm under his back and forcing him to sit up. he lifted a knee over harry's leg, straddling his lap.

"ni-niall? what... what are you..."

"shh. please don't talk. just let me do this."

niall placed two hands on harry's bare chest, rubbing in small circles on his pecs, causing harry's breath to hitch.

"your skin is smooth."

"t-thanks?"

"what does this tattoo mean?"

"that feels weird."

"what?"

"i mean you tracing it. but, uh, i'd rather tell you some other time."

"i'm sorry it feels weird. it feels weird to me, too. the skin is kinda... bumpier."

"is it? i never really noticed."

"what are the two crosses for?"

"uh... something."

"alright, don't answer my question."

"sorry."

"and the birds?"

"um... niall, this is really personal stuff."

"alright, then. you just stop talking and let me explore."

harry fell completely still as niall's hands glided up and down harry's upper chest, feeling the skin and purposely avoiding his nipples. then ran down to his butterfly, looking at it with a peculiar face. he ran his hands back up, getting a tiny little sound out of harry that even harry was surprised at.

"you have nice collarbones."

niall's hands traced the bones on harry's shoulders, and harry just sat back and let it happen.

"you have a lot of tattoos."

"i know."

"do you even know what half of these mean?"

"they're just tattoos."

"what's this then?"

niall was at harry's bicep, running a hand over harry's ship tattoo.

"it's just a boat."

"right, and i'm just niall."

"you are just niall. just niall who is currently confusing me more than ever."

"i'm sorry, is this too much?"

"no! this is great, really really great, but i still don't get why you're doing it."

"you have nice skin."

"thanks?"

"and i guess i just wanted to feel it for m'self. that sounds creepy."

"a little bit, yeah."

niall still hadn't stopped rubbing harry's chest, a small blush on his cheeks.

"thanks for staying here, by the way. it sounds strange, but it's nice having someone else in the house. and you're not a bad housemate."

"i haven't exactly done anything yet."

"exactly!"

harry's grin was fond and warm.

"i really like this one..."

niall's finger was gently placed on harry's rose tattoo.

"you can't have a bunch of tattoos without having a rose."

"that's true. it fits in. all of your tattoos fit in. they look good on you."

that's when niall practically flew away from harry, eyes widened.

"oh my god!"

"what? what's wrong?"

"that was like... super gay!"

"no, no, it wasn't. it was--"

"i'm so sorry! well, not that you cared, you're gay. but like, i'm not like that! i didn't... i didn't mean to go that far! you just looked so nice... oh god, i'm not helping myself here. i just, i'm really sorry!"

"niall, don't freak out! it's okay. really, i'm not mad!"

"you're not mad, but i am!"

"did you not like it?"

there was an awkward silence. niall had buried his face in his hands and harry just sat there with concern.

"i did... that's why it's so bad."

"it's not bad to like that type of stuff."

"that's so gay though! i'm not gay!"

"you've told me a million times. listen, niall, you can like a guy's skin and his tattoos without being gay."

"really?"

well, not in the way niall did, but harry was just aiming to make him feel better.

"sure! louis loves to look at my tattoos all the time. liam rubs over them to admire them. my stepdad compliments how healthy and glowing my skin looks. all of them are straight."

"oh. so what i did was... okay?"

"more than okay!"

"are you sure? i didn't like, creep you out or anything?"

"no, didn't you see i was enjoying it? it felt pretty good."

niall flushed at that.

"r-right. well, yeah, your skin feels good. shit, i mean, it was fun. and uh, you have nice tattoos. i'm gonna go back to my room, okay?"

"yeah, sure."

"and, uh, if i wake you up early, don't worry about it. i usually wake up at 5, stumble around a bit, and then go back to bed. i don't know why i'm telling you this. okay, i'm leaving now."

niall left awkwardly and harry lay back down in bed, his skin still tingling from niall's touch.

yep, what he said before was true. he had managed to have a crush on the most complicated boy on the face of the earth.

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