Never Giving Up (Sequel to The Broken Generation)

Chapter 17

Austin's POV

I was nervous for Alan to come over today. I didn't know what this meant for us right now and I was pretty sure he never wanted to see me again. I was so mean and I wasn't thinking about his dreams. He supported me with everything and he always put his needs last. I loved him so much and I should've known better than to snoop and look at his things. I should've trusted him enough to tell me eventually.   Whatever he wanted to fix this, I was willing to do it. No matter what.

Even if he wanted to go to New York. I'd do anything for him. 

I sat on the couch staring at the room I had been sleeping in since he left. It was a mess. There was plates and glasses all over the table and a couple old joints that were half used. God, this place looked like shit.  I needed to clean up before he got here or else he'd kill me for leaving such a mess in his house.  Or maybe it would show him how much I was a mess after he left. I leaned back, should I clean it or not?

It was a little too late to figure out whether or not to clean because there was a knock on the door. I looked at my phone, it was already noon.

I headed straight to the door and opened it. "Hey."

Alan gave me a nervous smile, "Uh hey. Can I come in?"

"Of course, I mean this is still your house too."

"I gave my key back when I left," He said walking in, sliding his shoes off before looking around, "It's messy in here." 

"Doesn't mean it's not yours. And I'm aware."

"You're smoking pot again?"

"Just recently," I said awkwardly.

"Oh. Anyway we should talk." 

"We should," I said and walked over to the couch.

"I didn't get the job in New York. I didn't have enough experience for them," He said softly, "And I'm sorry for leaving. I know you didn't mean to intentionally look at my things and I should've told you when my boss has said something about it."  

"It's okay," I told him. "And I'm sorry you didn't get it."

"It's whatever, I wasn't expecting to get it anyway. I should've thought about how you felt about this whole thing. I mean we just had so much going on with my health and then our house and then our, uh engagement." 

"It still sucks."

"I'm not too worried about it. I should've thought about how you'd feel about the job in general."

"It's okay, it was the chance of the lifetime."

"Yeah, but so was being with you," He said looking down at his hands.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Being with you was the chance of a lifetime and I ruined that."

"You didn't ruin it."

"I did. I left and I lost my chance," He said looking back at me with teary eyes, "And I'm sorry."

"Ash, you didn't lose your chance," I told him. "I forgive you and I still love you."

"Really?" 

"Yeah really."

He sniffled a little and moved closer to me, "I still love you and I forgive you."

"Good," I said, wrapping my arm around him. "Can I give you your ring and key back now?"

"Please?"  He said through tears.