[D:BH Connor One Shots] More Than Machinery

You Die, I Die

[EDITED]

Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine.

That was the lie he told himself constantly. His thoughts and anxiety shocked his artificial body, tapping his foot impatiently as the sounds of doctors and nurses passing by, doing their jobs. Beside him was his companion and, if not, his best friend Hank. He didn't even realize the hand rubbing his back in comfort, the man speaking reassurance that sounded like a slur or sound in the androids audio processors.

He has waited exactly three hours, twenty eight minutes, and seventeen seconds until he was able to see you again.

"Excuse me. She's ready to see visitors--" the kind doctor didn't have enough time to speak when the brunette rushed inside, his LED flickering yellow as soon as he stepped inside.

There you were.

Your eyes were fixated at the window beside your bed, opposite to where he stood. He approached your side slowly, getting a reaction and locking eyes with you. The look in them was nothing he expected. Sure, after getting shot in the shoulder in duty would probably be the worst thing, but even after that, you still managed to get that sparkle in your eye. He would always catch that look, and without truly realizing it, he embraces it.

He always wondered, though, why you had always looked at him that way. Well, it's quite obvious, isn't it? Hell, even he made the same look only to you. If only he weren't so innocent and confused, he would be on fire.

"I'm glad to see you're okay, Connor," you shifted so you could face him comfortably, your lips curled upwards.

His brows furrowed, as well as something stinging inside of him. Whatever he felt inside, it was definitely an annoying sensation. Though, he understood this emotion after deviancy, an emotion he despised.

"I do not understand," Connor retorted in frustration, "I never understood you..."

Your smile dropped, a pang of worry cowering your face at those words. You've never seen him this aggravated before. Perhaps you should have seen this coming, but how could you ignore it? You cared too much, especially for Connor.

"This is the second time," he spoke, his voice louder and deeper than normal, "How could you do this? I am a machine. I can die, and it won't matter. I can come back, but you-- you're just-- you're human!"

His frustration couldn't have been more clear. His fists were clenched, brows burrowed and creasing the bridge of his nose, and eyes looking as those they were in distress. You hated this look on him, but you couldn't apologize.

You fumble on the bed and dangle your legs off the edge, attempting to push yourself up without having to use much pressure on your left arm. Connor blinked and honestly had no clue what to do; whether to help you up or settle you back down, but his time to decide ended.

"Connor," you began, adjusting your posture as to not irritate your wound, "Explain to me how you felt when I jumped in front of you. In every detail possible."

He blinked, staring at you, puzzled by your request, "I felt... sick. Like nearly all of my bio-components flipped. I felt like screaming and at the same time I felt lost. You fell to the ground and I was certain that I would... lose you."

You stared into him. Your face remained completely still, that not even Connor could figure out what you're feeling at that moment. Part of you wanted to smack him, and the other you wanted to hug him. For reasons of being so dumb and yet so damn caring, you couldn't believe how he hasn't figured it out yet; the reason of the bullet wound in your left shoulder.

"And what makes you think that that isn't the same exact feeling I get whenever you die?" you questioned, your eyes piercing into his softer ones. For once, he looked powerless.

It made sense; he never did win an argument with you especially in terms of emotion.

"What makes you think I die a little inside," you continued, a small hiccup escaping from the verge of tears "everytime you are killed? To you, it seems fine, but imagine watching someone you care about being killed... over and over. There is a difference, Connor. You're forgetting that you're alive, too."

Silence.

He only looked into your eyes, a clear frustrated look painted on his face. What more was there to say?

"I'm... I..." now it looked like he was about to cry.

"You don't have to say anything," you smiled gently, "Just promise me from now on, you'll be more careful."

He nodded softly with a sad and apologetic face. You couldn't help but chuckle. It was like he was a child who had just been scolded, which is basically what had happened. You bring his head lower enough so you could plant a kiss on his forehead, then simply place your own on his after. That seemed to have brighten his mood when you noticed a subtle smile from him.

You were still a little upset that he only realized his consequences now, but it didn't last long once you were with him again. There were no regrets to your decision, and now you were just glad to be able to be with him again.