Nobody to Love

Hotel

     I'm reaching closer and closer to my deadline for this assignment. I've already  started on it, but I only have a quarter of it done which leaves the majority of it for me still do. My boss came up to me and asked about how the assignment is coming along; of course I gave some bullshit response that I've been "keeping up the good work" so he would lay off. Thank god he didn't ask to see it because I would've been fired right on the spot, but this time it really is my fault for slacking off. I wonder how Suga is doing since he's been missing out out on work as well. I feel responsible for being the one that's taking Suga away from work. I want to see him but I don't want that to be at the cost of him putting his career endanger. It's actually been about two weeks since I've last talked to him. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing and speak of the devil, it's him calling.
     "Hey, Suga," I answer the call.
     "Hey, Daichi. How are you?"
"Good, good. Currently at work doing an assignment that's reaching real close its deadline."
"Oh, sorry for disturbing you. I can call you back after work since you're busy right now."
"No, no, I'm fine, trust me. And you, how are you doing?"
"Oh, well... I'm sort of in trouble for skipping too many days off work..haha.."
     "Shit... that's bad."
     "Yeah, I'm not sure if my boss knows where exactly I've been running off to but he's probably thinking it has something to do with my friends at Crows. God my boss can be ridiculous with work sometimes and it's tiring to keep working for more hours and shows than I can handle. Sorry, I was rambling. You probably don't want to listen to any of this."
     "Damn, that's harsh. I'm sorry Suga, I wish I could do something to help you. Well, I guess putting an end to taking you away from work could be a start. Shit, I'm sorry Suga. I distract you from work and then you have to hear it from your boss afterwards when it's my fault."
     "Not at all Daichi. Work is a priority, and so are you. If I don't have time to see you, I make time, even if that means I'll be faced with a little bit of scolding from the boss." I can't help but smile when I hear him say that. "But I gotta go now, I just wanted to... check in with you. I'll talk to you later, bye Daichi."
      "Bye, Suga."
I feel relieved after hearing that Suga doesn't despise me even though I caused him hell when he faces his boss. At the same time, I really shouldn't disrupt his work life like that. Something that caught my attention before he hung up was the hesitation I heard for a second when he said he wanted to call me to check in with me. Why was there a pause in the middle of that sentence, as if he was originally going to say something else? Not only that, I heard him sniffle right after he said bye. I almost didn't catch it but it was right before the call had ended. I'm probably just thinking too much into this but it reminds me of the night I first talked to him, and I saw his beautiful smile shape into a frown. Someone who hides the hurt they're feeling for the sake of bringing others joy.

     "Hey, Kuroo. Table for 1, please."
     "Table for 2, and some hot tea to soothe whatever is putting you in such a rut."
     "I'm fine, Kuroo. It's not me you should be worrying about."
     "Then who should I be worrying about?" he asked sounding genuinely concerned. Should I be telling Kuroo this? He's a good friend of Suga's, but I feel it isn't my place to be exposing his business. Then again, Kuroo could be well aware of Suga's work since he's the one that even told me how tough it is being in Suga's shoes...
"Daichi, hello, earth to Daichi, come back to us."
    "Sorry, I started overthinking things. I can't help but worry for Suga; he's always being overworked and never has time for himself. When was the last time Suga was able to make plans with friends, with you guys at Crows, on a day off? When was the last time Suga decided to treat himself to sleeping in and staying home all day, doing self-care things for himself? When was the last time it felt normal for him to go out and get a drink late at night simply because he was able to? I don't know all the details of what's happening when he isn't with me, but I hope his work isn't as bad it seems to be. I can't help but feel that he's doing what the boss schedules him to do, rather than what he wants to do with his career."
     "Wow, you really have fallen for Suga. Oh god, now I'm considering even telling you this but I'm really not suppose to.... Fuck it; Suga's boss is his father. The boss uses their father-son relationship to bribe Suga into working more hours to gain more money so he can 'support the family' with the wealth they have, or are soon to have if Suga just 'keeps working hard'. Whew, I finally said it. Listen, Suga loves his family, he loves his father. I think he knows that his father is using him but he won't admit it because he feels wrong to talk poorly about family. I tried telling him my thoughts on the whole situation but it's a touchy subject for him that we're not suppose to bring up. He's one of my good friends and I want to help him, but judging from my last attempt, he might see it as an intrusion on family matters. Besides this is his fight, not mine."

     It's interesting having Kuroo open up to me like that. Kuroo mentioned that Suga wouldn't be performing tonight but I'm still welcomed to come to Crows. Though I think I'll skip out tonight; I'm kind of worried for Suga. I want to call him to check up on him but then I'd be a distraction again. All I can do is hope that he's okay with whatever he's currently doing right now.
I situate myself on the couch with my pajamas on and hot tea ready to drink. I haven't really given myself a night to relax so I want to use now to do so. I scroll through Netflix looking for any interesting movies to watch but nothing catches my attention. I unnecessarily sigh loudly and drop the remote control next to me on the couch. I throw my head back and close my eyes to think for bit while it's quiet, until I was startled by my doorbell ringing.
"Suga?!" He leaps at me and wraps his arms around my neck. I hug him back and stay still until he's ready to let go. His arms fall to his sides and he backs up to give himself room to breathe. He seems so anxious about something but I don't push him to talk.
"Can I steal you away for tonight?"
"Yeah, of course-"
"No, for the entire night. Till morning. If it's not too much to ask..."
Seeing him how he is right now tells me whatever brought him here is really hurting him and if he's reaching out to me for comfort, I'll comply. He tells me that he's taking us to a hotel for the night and we can go back to work in the morning, so I hurry to pack a bag of simple things I need and we head out. The music is playing low and were conversing through small talk, and I'm being careful to not ask anything that might relate to the current situation we're in. We leave town and get onto the highway; it reminds of the first night we ran off after his show. How him being so trusting with me scared me, but how trusting I was with him scared me too. Thinking back to that time, I'm not even sure how we got here, how we became 'us'. I spaced off so far away that I didn't even realize that we arrived at the hotel.
     We parked the car and headed to the hotel's entrance. It's past evening so the lobby is quiet and mostly empty. We get our key and head towards the elevator. The hotel is pretty nice and I wonder if Suga has been here before since he found the hotel so quickly without needing any directions. We make our way to the room we'll be situated in, and so the night begins.