Being in love with a straight boy is a straight-up nightmare. Especially if it's been like that for years. But it's even worse when he's your best friend's brother, who has a girlfriend that's there to remind you how straight he is. That's when it b...
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For a long while, I just sat there on my bed, trying to calm down. I'd almost told Mason (andhis girlfriend)that I'd hooked up with a guy and I was way more anxious about it than I should be. The thing was... I thought I was ready, but—
I didn't even know why it was so hard! Mason was clearly fine with it. He slept in one room with a gay guy, for God's sake.
I fell back on the mattress with a sigh and ran a hand through my hair. As if Jamie's roommate walking in on me and Jamie having sex wasn't enough already...
I said I was going to call Jackson, but I wasn't sure if he would even pick up the phone. I didn't know if he was actually mad earlier, or if he was just joking, but I soon had my answer when I looked at my screen and saw that he'd already tried calling me and sent me a bunch of messages while I was with Jamie.
Jackson: Kenny pick up
Jackson: KENNY U DICK
Jackson: Wait dude r u fucking rn
Jackson: Omg yes I'm cheering u on
Jackson: Pls tell me he's sucking ur dick
Me: Jackson wtf
When he got my message, he immediately called me, and before I could get a single word in, he said, "Look, I'm just curious because people say that guys are better at giving head."
"That's bullshit," I replied. "As if every guy automatically knows how to do it just because he has a dick himself. I doubt you know how."
"Well... okay, fair point. Anyway, you never answered my question."
"No, he wasn't sucking my dick, Jackson."
"Not that," he snickered. "Why don't you want to tell Mason?"
I froze.
Shit, I was really hoping I'd dodged that bullet, because I couldn't think of a good excuse. I couldn't blame it on homophobia, because of our roommates, and I couldn't tell him about my crush on Mason, because of an abundance of reasons, so what did I have left?
Nothing, that's what. Shit, shit, shit.
"Kenny."
"I..."
"Seriously, what's stopping you?"
I panicked and blurted, "Why are you forcing me to do something I don't feel comfortable doing?"
"I'm not forcing you to do anything," he scoffed—he sounded almost offended at the idea. "I just wanna know why."
Don't you understand, Jackson... I can't tell you why. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I contemplated hanging up on him, but that would only make him more suspicious, so I lied, "I don't know why."
