Being in love with a straight boy is a straight-up nightmare. Especially if it's been like that for years. But it's even worse when he's your best friend's brother, who has a girlfriend that's there to remind you how straight he is. That's when it b...
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"What are you doing?"
Nazy didn't bother to turn her head to look at me when she spoke, but I knew that the question was directed at me as we lay there, side by side, on my bed. And Krista was on the floor with her legs in the air, pretending to be busy with her phone, but I knew all her attention was on me. I knew she and Nazy were both impatiently waiting for my reply. And I knew exactly what the question was about, but I still pretended like I didn't.
"Lying in bed."
Nazy made a noise that was somewhere in between a growl and a snort and reiterated, "No, what are you doing?"
"I don't know, okay?" I snapped. "I don't freaking know!"
"Well, just make a decision already! Forgive him and get back together or break up!"
"It's not that simple!"
"It is."
"Maybe you should talk to him," Krista suggested.
"What good would that do?" Nazy argued. "They already talked! We already know what he wants, but she has to do what she wants."
"I don't know what I want," I grumbled. "It's all... a blur in my head. It's too much. I just wish it never happened..."
"Maybe you should talk to Kenny," was Krista's next suggestion.
"For fuck's sake, Krista, if the only thing you—"
"Yeah, I'll go do that," I cut in.
Krista and Nazy fell silent. The former even pushed herself up from the floor to face me and said, "I was joking, Harry."
"Why would you be joking right now?!" Nazy erupted.
"Shut up, guys, please," I sighed. "I just need to... I need to get a full picture of this and I need time to think. I'm not gonna make a decision right now."
"At least you told him you wanted a break," Nazy said, shrugging. "That's basically the same as a breakup. You just forgot two letters."
"No, it's not the same," I told her. "A break is not a breakup. That's why it's called a break!"
"Whatever. Go talk to your competition then."
"I will," I spat back.
Nazy rolled her eyes and silently watched me get up and walk to the door. Even when I opened it, she said nothing. Only Krista called out, "Good luck," and I sighed and closed the door behind me.
But I didn't go talk to my 'competition'. Instead, I tortured myself by walking through the mall. (Those who claimed going to the mall was fun had to be insane.) The only reason why I went because I needed new wool and I liked getting it from this one tiny shop I found last year because the lady that worked there was really nice.
